Faith and Trust
by ShellyStark
Summary: Set five years after Cora has come and gone; Emma is dealing with the absence of someone else's disappearance from her life and the fact that everyone she comes to care about ends up leaving her in the end. So goes the life of Emma Swan. Until one day he turns up, finding her in an unfortunate situation. He's never stopped fighting for her and he's not about to stop now.
1. Chapter 1

Four years had come and gone. Sometimes the days passed with the blink of an eye and sometimes they drug along at a snail's pace. Anything and everything pertaining to Henry was over far too quickly, he was learning how to drive now, being taught by her father when she didn't have the patience. Fact of the matter was it dug at her insides that he was to be considered an adult in just a few short years. Would he leave her like everyone else had? Would it be selfish of her to ask him to stay? David and Mary Margaret had moved out long ago, they were still in town but she took the sudden absence of them in the apartment with anything but happiness.

Everyone left in the end; such was the life of Emma Swan. She had become accustomed to it by now. Her parents (on two counts), Neal, August, every foster family that had ever considered adopting her, _him_, and now Henry would do it too. It was just something she would have to face. At least there were no more lonely self-bought cupcake birthday celebrations; although maybe she would buy one and make another wish.

Or two.

Or three.

Or hell, maybe she would just wish to start over.

With a groan she shoved the rest of her paper work into her desk drawer and slammed it shut, cursing when she realized she shoved Henry's start of school papers along with it. She rummaged through the pile and collecting what she was looking for when she noticed one had slipped between the cracks between the middle and bottom drawer, the header of the school ledger mocking her as she stared at the insulting ink. _Was it really that important? _Emma sighed; _of course it's important, stop being childish._

She fiddled with the key on the ring for a good couple minutes before she wiggled it into the lock, turning it and releasing the keys as if they were hot to the touch. She stared at the drawer, keys swinging and jingling in a taunting song.

"I'll just close my eyes, feel for the paper and rip it out, no big deal," she whispered to herself in between heavy breaths.

Her plan worked to a degree. Emma turned her head away from the drawer clamped her eyes closed and slid the drawer open as far as it would go. She bent her body down, keeping her cheek flush against the coolness of the desk as she reached her arm down into and along the side of the drawer, her fingers skimming along the edges of the form. Upon releasing the paper and pulling her hand out she felt the roughness of the fabric skim her knuckles and Emma bit down on her lip. She hated that such a petty thing could render her almost to tears could also fill her with such a feeling of want. She foolishly let the back of her hand linger along its length, pondering whether to remove it and indulge in its familiarity just once more.

_NO!_ her mind chided, and with that she quickly removed her hand and kicked the drawer shut and twisted the key back into the locked position.

.

.

* * *

"Hey, mom!" Henry's bright smile and mop full of hair strolled into her office and took the seat across from her, propping his tennis shoes up on the desk.

"Shoes, Henry," Emma replied dully.

"Pssh, I'm leaving for two weeks and all you have to say is 'shoes, Henry,'" the teen mocked.

Emma threw a look to the calendar on the wall and scrunched up her face. This day had come far quicker than expected. The day he was leaving to spend the first two weeks of his summer with Neal and Tamara. He had just gotten his license and now he was leaving.

Just as she predicted he would.

"You sure you want to go through with this? Two weeks is an awful long time, kid."

"One: I'm not a kid, and two: I haven't seen dad in six months. They can't come here because of the baby." Henry argued.

"Oh, right, the baby," Emma nodded with a smile that didn't reach anywhere near her eyes. Neal got to move on. Fucking Neal with his pretty wife and new family. What did Emma get when everything ended?

Nothing.

Not even a goodbye.

"Don't worry, you won't even know I'm gone." Henry's voice pulled her from her thoughts. "And grandpa and Belle are taking me so you won't have to deal with him and my mom driving each other crazy."

"That's one thing I suppose," she said with a sigh.

"We're leaving in a few hours, I thought it would be nice to have dinner at Granny's before I left. Just us. Hamburgers with cocoa and cinnamon afterwards." Henry shrugged, "If you want."

Emma's worries disappeared in that moment. As she stared back at the grinning boy that sat across from her that came into her life six short years ago. Oh, how she wished she could have watched him grow from the beginning.

"I'd love that." She smiled, crossing in front of the desk to wrap her arms around his shoulders and press a kiss to the top of his head. "Let's go."

She blinked away the tears that were welling in her eyes as she hugged her son good bye and watched him climb into the back seat of Gold's car. Belle held her tightly and gave her hands a gentle squeeze.

"We'll keep a close eye on him, Emma. Don't you worry."

She couldn't answer. To speak would be to cry and she was not a crier. All her tears had been spent long ago and she refused to let anymore fall no matter the cause. So she nodded.

"See you in two weeks time, Miss Swan," Gold said with a smile as he aided Belle into the passenger seat. "Don't let Regina stir up too much trouble while I'm gone, yeah."

"Take care of my kid and I'll take care of your town."

He gave her an understanding nod before getting into the car himself with a little wave before they drove off towards the boarder. She knew Gold wouldn't let anything happen to Henry, but it still hurt to watch him leave and refusals be damned one of those tears had begun to make a trail down her cheek.

Two weeks wasn't forever, but it might as well be.

.

* * *

She didn't want to go home. Back to that empty apartment where there was no kid to leave his muddy shoes in the middle of the floor or have the television at full volume.

Nope.

Tonight she wanted to forget the world and drown her sorrows in the form of a bottle and a soothing liquid burn. Forgoing her sheriff duties she turned off her cell phone (David could deal with any trouble, if there was any) and sought out her eighty proof friend of the evening.

No glasses were needed, this wasn't drinking for leisure, it was drinking for pain and the feeling of her lips around the neck of the bottle reminded her of all the shared searing kisses that had been for naught. She locked the office door behind her and meandered into the empty jail cell and flopped down onto the cot. With each swallow her misery only grew instead of dissipating, and the one tear she had allowed to escape while she watched her son being whisked away to New York turned into a wave of many.

Mary Margaret had once told her the pain would heal with time. Well wasn't five fucking years enough? She'd had it with this feeling of betrayal taking up residence where her heart used to be. Mary Margaret had also told her she needed to let go and live her life.

No.

Her life had walked out just when she had allowed herself to be able to feel again.

She faintly heard the banging on the door; some mumbled cries from somewhere in the back of her mind. They had to have come from her mind. That was the only way she'd ever hear that voice again.

"Emma!" the phantom voice yelled again, "DAMNIT, SWAN, GET UP!"

She was having a hard time staying awake now. The effects of the alcohol had slowed her breathing and was finally giving her what she wanted, slowly lulling her to sleep.

The banging got louder, "DON'T YOU DARE CLOSE YOUR EYES SWAN!"

The door crashed open and a man in a wool duster hurried over to her side.

Emma's lids were heavy now, and her body was shivering with chills. The man quickly removed his coat and placed it over her body, gently shaking her shoulders.

"Emma, love, you need to stay awake for me okay?" his voice was shaky, dripping with concern.

"You're not here," she said with a breath, licking her dry lips, "Go on, leave me be, just like before."

"No, darling, I assure you, I'm quite real. And I'm not going anywhere. Not anymore." He peeled back the coat and began rummaging through her pockets for her cell.

"Nothing's changed, even in my dreams you're still all hands on," she whispered with a shudder.

"Phone, love, where's your phone?" he demanded.

"Desk." She attempted to raise her arm but it only fell to the side of the cot, limp.

* * *

He managed to keep her mostly awake while waiting for the ambulance to arrive, forcing her to drink down a bottle of water he had found next to her phone. Perhaps that is the bottle she should have been nursing tonight instead of the empty glass one that now laid beside the small prison cell bed. He knew that this was his fault, but at the time there hadn't been another way. He honestly thought someone would have said something to her by now but by the looks of things clearly not a word was uttered. He paced the front of the station as they loaded wheeled her out and into the back of the truck, the driver casting him a look.

"You want to ride with her?"

"I don't know if I should," he answered honestly. He knew once she arrived Whale would put in a call to Ruby and her parents and soon the whole town would be beckoning at her bedside, shooting daggers at him with their eyes.

"You should. She's been a wreck since you left, but she misses you. Some part of her would be grateful that the first thing she wakes up to is you."

He nodded and climbed into the back beside her, taking her small hand in his, running his thumb along its back.

"It wasn't supposed to happen like this," his voice wavering as he quietly spoke. "Not like this."

Beside him Emma whimpered and turned her head, now safely asleep under the paramedics care, yet still clearly suffering.

"I hate you, Killian Jones," she murmured as a tear crept out of the corner of her eye.

Killian's heart clenched in his chest and he held back his own sob, brushing away the wetness on her cheek with his thumb.

"I know, love, I know."

.

* * *

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**A/N: ANGST AHOY! I'm sure you have questions...I might have answers...providing you feed that empty box below.**


	2. Chapter 2

The last time Killian was in a hospital he was the one lying in one of those god awful beds. In handcuffs, beaten and battered after throwing himself in front of an oncoming car. He remembered that he had tried to play dumb, that he didn't register the danger before it was too late. Emma knew other wise and was quick to call him out on his death wish. It wasn't that he was begging to die; it was that he simply didn't care anymore at that point. He had lost everything, and if he wasn't able to kill his crocodile than he might as well be happy in the afterlife with his Milah.

But that changed when he saw the concern etched into her face when she sought him out at the crash site. His hand seeking hers, holding on to something magical to help him forget the pain that was searing through his body. Killian decided then that he wanted to live his life after all, there was just the matter of winning over the Swan girl.

And it wasn't easy. Especially after what transpired in Manhattan. Not that he blamed her, his heart had been in a dark place and he was still hell bent on revenge and she was just so…guarded.

But those walls slowly came tumbling down and Killian was there to embrace the wounded woman that lied within; and she let him.

Now they were back to square one. His Swan princess broken with a brand new wall that was made by his own doing…more or less. And he only had a short amount of time to fix it.

He sat along her bedside, his head resting in his folded arms listening to the steady beep of the hospital machinery. It had taken a good number of IV bags to get her fluids back to normal, and she was still wrapped up in a bundle of blankets, then there was the fact that she had vomited three times (twice on the way and once before she slipped under again.) Still during all this she paid him no notice. He didn't know if it was simply because she thought of him only as a hallucination or she really despised him that much. He prayed to the gods it wasn't the latter.

* * *

Killian came to as he was being dragged by his collar out of the room and being slammed against the wall, a heavy arm being pressed against his chest.

"You have some nerve showing up here, you son of a bitch!" _Ah, Charming…or at the moment not quite so._ He knew that her father would be quick to throw him into some sort of confrontation, he was surprised that it was in such a public place.

"David, stop this!" Mary Margaret shrieked, bustling in through the hospital doors and up to behind her husband.

Killian said nothing, trying to convey his sorrow into the angry man's eyes before him. Breathing was becoming a difficult task the harder David pushed against his windpipe but still Killian didn't fight back. What use was it to get the whole town angry at him again? They probably already were anyhow.

"David-"

"He did this, Mary Margaret! He's responsible for the state she's in, how can you stand by let him get away with that?!"

Attention had been called to their scuffle and Whale and the dwarf were now prying the fuming prince away from him.

"He's also responsible for getting her here."

Killian collapsed to his knees and relished in the fact that he could breathe freely when a nurse rushed over to his side to help him.

He waved her away, "I'm fine." Killian got to his feet and brushed his hands on his jeans, turning towards David. "I'd appreciate it if you didn't do that again, mate."

"Well I'd appreciate it if you stayed the hell away from my daughter," he snapped back with a snarl.

"Can't do that, I've waited too long to get back here, I'm not just going to walk away." Killian looked back through the glass to the still sleeping Emma with a sad smile. How could they expect him just to leave her? Didn't they understand?

"But that's exactly what you did, Hook," Mary Margaret stepped in, her tone scolding him as if he were a child. "You walked away and never looked back."

_Apparently not._ Killian's head whipped around and he looked between the couple with his mouth open in genuine shock. "What?! What on earth are you bloody talking about? I had no choice!"

"Everyone has a choice, Killian, you chose to leave."

"My _leaving_ was not about choice! I've spent every day since yearning for the opportunity to rise where I could come home-"

"THIS IS NOT YOUR HOME!" David interrupted, slamming his fist into the wall beside him.

"_My home_," Killian growled raising his hand and pointing a finger towards Emma's bed, "Is lying right there in that bed." He licked his lips and blew out a sigh, "Apologies, it's quite clear neither of you were informed of my predicament."

"What predicament?" David scoffed.

Killian shook the question off, "Not important right now. Has anyone contacted Henry?"

"No," Mary Margaret drew out wearily, "we were afraid Gold would drive him back, and he's been looking forward to the trip to his fathers. Wait…how did you know he wasn't here?"

"Just because I'm not here, dear Snow, doesn't mean I'm unaware of events that might be of importance to me."

"Does Gold leaving have something to do with you being back?" David inquired with suspicion.

"As much as I'd like to play this little question game of yours, _your highness_, I'd really like to go back in there now." Killian turned to reenter the room, only to be stopped by a gentle hand landing on his arm before it turned the handle.

"She's not going to be happy to see you," Mary Margaret's voice almost seemed apologetic and the tight smile on her face held a strong amount of regret.

"I know, but I have to try."

* * *

"Are you insane!?" David harshly whispered to his wife, pulling her aside, "How can you let him just waltz back in there?"

Mary Margaret softly smiled up at her husband and pressed a hand to his cheek, "Because he loves her, wouldn't you do the same if it were me?"

"I'd never leave you."

"We left Emma," her guilty tone was left hanging in the air between them.

"We didn't have a choice, Snow!"

"Exactly."

"You believe him?!"

Mary Margaret shrugged, glancing back at the man who was grasping her daughters hand with a lost look in his eyes. The same look Emma got on occasion when she thought no one was looking. "He's never lied to us, David. Not to me, especially not to her. Not even back then when things were bad. Killian was batting for the other team and he still kept true to her. Why start now?"

* * *

It felt like Leroy and the boys had taken their pickaxes to her brain, a whole damn bottle of aspirin probably wouldn't have helped her. And what the hell was that god awful beeping noise? And was somebody holding her hand?

Emma squeezed her shut eyes and let out a small groan before letting her lashes flutter open. Her gaze fell upon the tanned hand grasping hers, adorned with all too familiar rings. She slowly raised her head to meet his face and took her bottom lip between her teeth.

"Hey, beautiful," he greeted her softly with a halfhearted smile.

Emma jerked her hand away and scooted up further in her bed. _No, no, no, no, what was he doing here? _ She wasn't ready to face him or any of his snarky remarks; and she wasn't about to admit that she had done nothing but miss him since he up and disappeared.

"What are you doing here?"

"Emma, love-"

"Don't…" she raised a hand to cut him off, "Don't start with the pet names, Hook."

Killian's eyes shut and his lips formed a tight line. The usage of his moniker from her had hurt more than he would care to admit, but he hadn't expected anything less.

"I came looking for you, and when I found you in a bad way-"

"Must have been one hell of a road trip. I'd suggest you might have gotten lost but you know…the pirate thing and all."

"It wasn't like that, Emma!" He grabbed her hands in his, his ocean blue eyes begging her for forgiveness.

Wait…his…hands? She grabbed hold of his left wrist, bringing the appendage closer for inspection. "Killian, when…"

There was a flash of a smirk on his face and then it was gone. "Call it a parting gift, or more accurately a curse. For I never got to hold the one thing I wanted most with it."

Her hands couldn't help but run over the lines of his palm in wonderment as he spoke.

"But your hand is in Gold's shop, I've seen it."

"Aye, 'tis a fresh one. That blue fairy can be a decent lass," he smirked, allowing just a shred of his old happy self shine through.

Emma breathed out a laugh, a small smile spreading across her lips.

"Oh, Emma," he whispered, pushing out of his chair and cradling her face with his hands, bring his forehead to hers, "I've missed you so much." He felt the wetness of her tears hit his finger and he pulled back to dab them away, leaning in to press a kiss to her forehead.

Emma pressed her hands on his shoulders and pushed him back, shaking her head with a sob. "I can't, Killian, it hurts too much."

He tried to hide both the pain and the tears in his eyes with rapid blinks and a shaky sigh. He nodded and returned to his seat.

"I think you should go." Her voice was hardly above a whisper and full of uncertainty. Fresh tears were marking their territory but he didn't dare make a move to wipe them away lest he be shunned again.

"Emma, please, you have to listen to me, let me explain," he pleaded, going to grab her hand which she quickly moved out of his way.

"I can't do that, not right now anyway. I'm sorry."

Killian swallowed the lump in his throat and nodded, slowly standing from his place and going to the door. "I'll be at Granny's. I meant everything I said during our time together, Swan." He stopped in his steps, his eyes fixated at the hand on the door handle, unable to bring himself to look at the pain in stormy eyes.

"And I'll wait for you. Until the end of days if I must."

.

* * *

Killian could practically feel the wolf girl growl at him the second he stepped foot into the bed and breakfast. Ah, how he missed the feeling of being hated by an entire community, and after he had worked so hard to help them in the end. Of course now they were all under the assumption he up and abandoned their star savior.

"I'd like a room please, darling," he said with a sigh, tossing a roll of cash up on the counter.

Ruby eyed the money and then the pirate that stood in his modern attire in front of her. "All booked," she replied with a smirk.

"Really, now?"

"Mmhmm, and even if we weren't we have a no douchebag policy."

Killian chuckled, "Aye, I suppose I deserve that." He folded his arms over the counter top and tapped the stack of bills. "But see, I'm a paying customer, I've had a rough night, and I really don't want to deal with this town's bull shit right now. I'll stay out of the way, lass, just give me a room."

"How long," Ruby gave in with a defeated sigh. She might not have been happy with how things went down but she had seen how happy Emma was with him and vice versa. That compared to how he was now made her feel just a little bit bad for the guy.

"Two weeks."

His brows furrowed when she handed him the swan emblazoned room key, his thumb absent mindedly stroking its length.

"Hey! You got your hand back." She nodded at the hand that was currently fondling the key ring with a smile.

"Hmm?" he looked up to catch her eying his left hand, "Oh, that." Killian stretched out his fingers before tightening them into a fist, "I suppose I did. Look, Ruby, I honestly didn't come to stir up any problems; I'd appreciate it if you kept quiet about my whereabouts for now. And if Emma should happen to pop into the diner…I'd very much like to speak with her."

"Does she know you're staying here?"

"Yes, but as you know things are…complicated." Killian sighed, running his hand through his hair. "I'd appreciate all the help I can get. I can't keep losing her."

Of course she would give him the same room they had shared once before. That damn wolf was one of the few people who had supported them from the start. He rolled on his side, curling his arm under the pillow, drowning in the thoughts of the woman that once slept by his side on this very bed.

"_What is this, Killian?" Emma asked, her nails gently raking through the dark hair on his chest._

_His arms tightened around her and he pressed a kiss to her hair, "What do you want it to be, love? I believe my intentions have been more than clear from the start."_

"_It's just…" she pulled out of his grip and propped herself up on her elbow so she could look down on him. "I've lost so much, this isn't easy for me."_

_Killian knitted his eyebrows together in confusion and brushed the hair from her face and behind her ear, caressing her cheek with his thumb. "You'll never have to worry about losing me love, I promise you that. I'm not going anywhere."_

_Emma grinned, sweeping down and capturing his lips in a kiss, breathing in the welcoming scent of leather and sea. "Okay," she smiled against his lips._

"_Yeah?"_

_Emma nodded, pressing her forehead to his. "The pirate and the princess. What a pair we'll be," she laughed._

"_One that shall be envied in all the realms."_

They didn't have enough time to gain such reputation; he was yanked away before all that. Shame, that. Just when he had gained her complete trust he feared he had shattered it with such a foolish act. He would wait for her to come to him, it was the way things always were between them and now it was her turn as it were. She would come, it wouldn't be a pretty sight, but she would come.

.

* * *

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**A/N: WOW guys just...wow! I've been planning this story forever but wasn't expecting such a huge reaction! Over 40 followers in one day *sniff* I love you all so much! And just so you know I snicker at all these frustrated reviews heeheeehee because I'm an evil little thing. Now don't be shy all you followers, I'd love to know what you're thinking as well! Don't you want to know what happened to Killy? Hmmm? Lets see that love!**

**Shelly**


	3. Chapter 3

David took it upon himself to take over for Emma for the next few days against Emma's will. The last thing she wanted was to be stuck at home all alone. But then she remembered it was summertime, therefore Mary Margaret was also free…to babysit her.

"Do you want to talk about it?" Mary Margaret asked her as they climbed into the car.

Emma only shot her a glare in response.

"Right, stupid question," her mother winced. "How about some food? That hospital stuff isn't great, we could go grab a burger or something."

'Grabbing a burger' would entail going to Granny's. Going to Granny's would chance running into Killian. Emma was sure she wasn't ready to face that again; not with the pot full of mixed emotions she had stirring in her stomach.

"I just want to go home," she said dully, leaning her head against the window with a sigh. For the past six years all she had wanted was for him to come back into her life and now that he had she had pushed him away. Just like she always did. But what was she supposed to do? Welcome him back with open arms? _Not a chance in hell, buddy._

She had to admit though; the real world looked good on him. Even long after Cora's unfortunate departure and Snow's showdown with Regina; Emma couldn't get him to shed his pirate garb very often. Occasionally she could muscle him into a button down and a pair of slacks, but the boots and coat always stayed. But it didn't matter. None of it mattered, because she simply couldn't handle this right now. The dreams at night were bad enough, and now he was tangible if she so desired.

* * *

Mary Margaret pulled into a parking space and unfortunately followed behind Emma into the apartment. She just wanted to be alone. Couldn't she just be alone? Although last time she wanted to be alone she woke up in a hospital bed, so maybe it was for the better good after all. Emma drug herself up the stairs and fell into her bed, wiggling out of her shoes and letting them hit the floor. Her eyes ventured to the night stand and landed on a picture of the three of them at the docks.

"_Say cheese!" Mary Margret grinned as she fumbled with the camera._

_Killian's arms slinked around her from behind and he nestled in close to her ear, the scruff on his cheek tickling her neck. "You smiling, love, or should I give you something to smile about?" He took her earlobe gently between his teeth and tugged with a small growl sending Emma into a fit of giggles._

"_Stop!"_

"_Never," he whispered, his lips pressing against her temple in a soft kiss. _

"_All right, guys, come on!" Henry whined from beside them, grabbing hold of Killian's hook. "You promised me a day at sea and so far it's been a day of grossness."_

"_Right you are, lad," Killian grinned, releasing her and ruffling Henry's hair. "Best not keep the Roger waiting then."_

* * *

Emma reached up and slammed the frame down, her body tensing when she heard the glass crack under the force.

* * *

_What had been the perfect day turned into a magical night; with Henry fast asleep below deck and the pair of them dancing to a tune hummed by her pirate beneath the stars. _

"_I never thought I'd be twirling around under the stars in the arms of villainous Captain Hook," Emma smirked, her cheek pressed flush against the coolness of his leather vest._

"_Oh, you wound me, Swan!" Killian chuckled, "After all we've been through you still think of me as the villain?"_

"_Mmm," she hummed, "maybe I like a bad boy."_

_She let out a small shriek when he tightened his grip around her and lifted her up off the ground, backing her up to set her on the railing. _

"_I haven't begun to show you bad, Swan," Killian warned with a smile that made his eyes glisten in the moonlight._

_Emma wrapped her legs around his thighs and took hold the lapels of his coat, tugging him closer until her lips were on his. "I'll take you up on that, Jones."_

_Killian grinned against her lips, dragging his teeth along her skin in a teasing manner. He placed a trail of kisses along her jaw line to her neck where he let his head rest and wrapped his arms around her middle in a warm embrace._

"_I never thought I'd find it again," he murmured softly._

"_What?" she questioned with a whisper, running her hands through his hair. _

"_Love, I thought I'd forgotten how it felt. Until I found you."_

"_Killian-"_

_He straightened himself up, cupping her cheek in his palm. "Oh no, Emma, don't put up that wall now, don't you dare."_

_Emma began to chew nervously on her bottom lip._

"_I love you, Emma. Whether you're ready to hear it or not there it is." Killian stared back at her with a curved brow and a sliver of a smile tugging on his lips._

_Emma blinked away the sting of the tears that pricked her eyes and bit back a laugh. She covered the hand on her cheek with her own and pressed a kiss into his palm. _

"_I love you too, you stupid pirate."_

* * *

Her pillow was sodden with a batch of fresh tears. Between the photo and the sudden rush of memories there was no stopping them now. After holding everything in for all these years it was bound to come out in big waves.

"Emma, I..." Mary Margaret's voice called from the hall.

Emma tried in vain to wipe her eyes and make herself presentable before her mother made her appearance.

"Oh, Emma," her mother let out a sympathetic sigh, gliding into the room and sitting next to her on the bed. Mary Margaret began to rub small circles into her back while the sobs were reduced to sniffles.

"Maybe you should just go talk to him."

Emma shook her head roughly, "I can't. I can't take the risk that he's just going to run out on me again."

"How do you know he will? You didn't see the way he was with David."

Emma sat up, wiping her eyes with the back of her hand, "What do you mean?"

Mary Margaret scrunched up her face and shrugged, "I don't know, he just…" she gathered Emma's hands and took a breath, "He didn't fight back Emma. David nearly took all the air from him and he just stood there. He said he didn't have a choice, maybe he was forced out."

Emma snorted, "And what, it took him this long to find his way back?"

"I don't know!" Mary Margaret closed her eyes and took a moment for herself. "Do what you want. I just don't think you should give up on the one person that could make you happy." She reached over and gave Emma's shoulder a squeeze before leaving her alone to ponder in her thoughts.

.

* * *

Two days. Two horribly long bloody days had passed since he had left Emma's bedside and checked into Granny's. The wolf girl kept good to her word, she even went as far as to bring him up his meals at night so he wouldn't have to venture out and face the wrath of the town. For that he was grateful.

He caught glimpses of her from his room; flashes of golden hair in the sun. The first time Killian could have sworn she was seeking out his window and for the briefest moment their eyes met. He pressed a hand against the glass and smiled down at the woman he felt slowly slipping away from him, hurt even more when she frowned and turned away.

His days were numbered, a man working on borrowed time as it were; and she wasn't making it any easier for him. But he had vowed to himself that he would wait. She would come, she had to. So went this familiar dance of theirs and she had yet to let him down.

* * *

Killian lied in bed, hands behind his head, eyes fixated on the ceiling. Sleep never came easy anymore, he missed the rock of the sea, the song of the gulls, the comforting scent of wood grain, rum and sea-breeze. He had grown accustomed to sleeping within concrete walls at night, but that didn't mean he liked it. Especially if he had to do it alone.

There was sharp pounding on the door, not a knock, far from it. It was the sound of an angry fist pummeling the heavy wood. He'd been a good boy since he arrived, so that could only one thing. A beam of a smile broke out onto his face as he sprung up from the mattress and rushed to open the door. A smile that was quickly wiped off his face at the sight of a fuming Emma standing in the doorway.

Her hand met his rugged cheek in a hard slap and he staggered back a step when she shoved his shoulders back.

"How dare you!"

He opened his mouth to say something smart, but shut it on second thought.

"You promised!" She yelled shoving him again, giving the door a kick closed, "You promised you wouldn't fucking leave!"

"Emma-" he drew out her name in a plea and took a step toward her.

"No! You don't get to speak. Six years, Killian! That's how long I've spent wondering what I did wrong, why you left in the middle of the night without so much as a goodbye."

She batted the tears away that were building in the corners of her eyes. "Do you have any idea what that did to me? To Henry?"

"That was never my intention, love. And yes, I do know, for I went through the same heartache."

"Oh, yeah? Did you wash it away with the comfort of barmaids, my good Captain?" She sneered. She knew the harshness of her words would sting, but she didn't care. She wanted to wound him, to hurt him, to make her feel something close to the pain she had been feeling for so long.

What she didn't expect was his eyes to glisten with moisture or the painful breath he pushed out from his lungs as he sunk down on the bed. His gaze falling to the floorboards.

Her anger briefly turned to guilt.

"Killian…I'm-"

He rose in a flash, pinning her to the wall, his blue eyes turning black and burned into hers. They stood in a standoff; Emma's eyes wide in uncertainty as the only noise that filled the room was the heavy rise and fall of Killian's breathing.

"Never. I would _never_ find comfort in another. There is no other for me, Swan, only you. You knew that once." Killian's dark eyes flitted over her lips. "Perhaps you need reminding."

He melded his mouth to hers before she could protest, his hands securing their hold on her hips as he held her against the wall. He felt the pulse radiate throughout the room just as she started to give in to him, her lips moving ever so willingly against his own. Killian moaned at her touch, fingers tightening around her frame.

Emma pulled back suddenly, a fire burning in her eyes and not one of the good kind.

"No." she breathed, "You don't get to do that. You don't get to win me back."

Killian pressed his forehead against hers with a groan. "Emma-"

"You. Left." She shoved him back and pushing repeatedly into his shoulders until her pushes became small pummels with her fists. "You fucking left!" She continued her assault on his chest muttering incoherent cries of insult.

Killian winced but let her continue to beat her frustrations out.

"That's quite enough, love," he said softly, bringing his arms up and holding her to him tightly in an attempt to both stop her and to be able to hold her.

With a shudder she stopped and collapsed into a heap against his chest, more of those years of built up tears flowing into his button down.

"I was alone. I woke up and you were gone," she cried.

Killian stroked the back of her head, his lips getting lost in her hair, "I know, love, I can't apologize enough."

"I loved you."

There was a sharp tug on his chest and he had to take a breath to relieve the sudden uncomfortable amount of pressure. A tear crept down the side of his face.

"Loved?" the word escaped from his lips in a quake.

Emma sniffed, nodding against his chest. "Yes, then…now, you're my curse, Jones. No matter what I did, however I tried to rid my brain of you…there you were."

"Oh, Emma," he sighed in relief, tightening his hold on her in an attempt to bring her even closer.

Emma pressed back on his chest to get a better look at his face. She raised a tentative hand and slid her palm along his cheek. Killian let out a breath, closing his eyes and leaning into her touch.

He bent his head towards her but just before their lips met he was stopped by her fingers upon his mouth.

"I need to know why, Killian."

He nodded, clasping the back of her head and pressing a lingering kiss to her forehead. If he couldn't have her lips he would take what he could. Any amount of her was far better than none at all. He swept an arm to the bed, motioning for her to take a seat.

"You're aware my sleeping patterns, when away from the sea are…erratic," Killian began, his hands fidgeting nervously in front of him.

"What does that have to do with anything?"

"I went for a walk that night, stretched my legs along the docks." He paused and sat down next to her. "Rumplestilskin found me, turns out the crocodile wasn't quiet through with me yet." Killian shook his head and let out a dry laugh, "You see, darling, the monster still remains, it only lies dormant unless provoked."

"What the hell did you do, Jones?" she accused with a raised voice.

"Nothing, I assure you. It seems my presence was enough to provoke him. That and once he found out that I had befriended Baelfire after he deserted him didn't mix very well." Killian stroked the scruff on his chin, swallowing the lump in his throat. It was a night he had wished long and hard to be forgotten but, alas, it was possibly the most memorable of memories.

* * *

_He didn't need to turn around to know that the sharp raps on the dock were the tell-tale sounds of the Crocodile's walking stick. Just as he knew that this conversation was going to be far from pleasant. _

"_Captain," the man nodded as he came into view. Both hands folded cockily over the handle of his cane and a sneer on his lips._

"_Crocodile."_

"_You're still here. Why?"_

_Killian scoffed, "Apologies, do you own the dock as well? I thought this was a public place."_

"_Storybrooke, Hook. It's been nearly a year."_

"_I'm sorry if you thought I had intentions of rushing off once the battle was done, Crocodile; but it seems I've found reason to stay." Killian took a step toward the older man and gave him a short mocking bow. "Now, if you'll excuse me."_

"_Ah, yes the Swan girl. Pity I promised her and the boy no harm would fall upon you." His voice sang over the air and Killian stopped dead in his steps, a smirk gracing his face._

"_Yes, shame, that. I'm quite sure you would have enjoyed trying to kill me," he jested with a turn of the head before continuing his walk._

"_Ohhh," Rumplestilskin giggled following behind him, "I've just come to the realization I never made the same promise to you."_

_Killian slowly turned, his hand clenching into a fist at his side._

"_It'd be a down right __**tragedy**__ if anything should happen to either of them," Rumplestilskin egged, his tone laced with malice._

_Killian marched up to him, grabbing his coat in one hand and pressing his hook to his neck with a growl. "They've done nothing to you!"_

"_But you have, pirate. You took my __**wife**__, you took in my son!"_

"_Perhaps if you wouldn't have been such a coward you would have still had a family to hold on to instead of one that ran away from you. Bae's trip to Neverland was not by my hand. It was yours!" Killian snapped giving him a rough shake._

"_And now there's Henry. The boy looks to you as a father figure you know. I simply can't have you stealing away more of my family." The Crocodile shook himself out of the Captains grasp with a smirk and dusted off the lapels of his coat. "The girl means nothing to me, Hook. I won't think twice to take your love away again."_

_Killian took a step back, his face blanching at the thought._

"_You wouldn't. It would kill the lad."_

"_He's young," Rumplestilskin chuckled, lifting his hands in a shrug, "time will heal his wounds."_

_Killian closed his eyes, running a hand down the length of his face. He couldn't take the chance of losing either of them. _

"_What would you have me do?" He was giving up, surrendering. And Emma forgive him, he prayed that no matter the cost she would forever cherish what they had shared._

"_Simple, really…go. Leave. Only then will I be able to guarantee her safety."_

"_I can't-"_

"_You can, and you will," the Crocodile snarled, "and you'll be doing it tonight."_

"_I could just take them with me, you'd have no way to stop me," Killian tried in a last ditch effort._

"_You could, and I wouldn't. But could you stop me when I came after them. Because I would, and if I couldn't I'd find someone willing to do so." Rumplestilskin grinned, "We wouldn't want that, now would we."_

_Killian made the long walk back to the apartment, tugging off his boots before he entered so his steps wouldn't wake them. He crept into Henry's room and sat on the edge of the bed with a bittersweet smile on his face. He never thought he'd share such a bond with the young, lad, yet the tightness on his heart was almost too much to bear. He smoothed a hand over his hair and dropped a swift kiss to his brow._

"_Take care of your mother, Master Henry," he whispered, "and know that I'm sorry… for everything."_

_Killian reached to shut the door behind him when he heard the small voice from the bed speak up. "It's Mr. Gold, isn't it? He did something, and now you're leaving."_

"_Aye, lad," his voice cracked and he felt the long forgotten feel of stinging tears at the back of his eyes. _

_Henry shoved the covers aside and ran to the pirate Captain in his doorway, arms wrapping tightly around him and burying his face in his middle. _

"_I don't want you to go, Killian. My dad's already left and back in New York, I need you."_

_Killian dropped down to his level and gathered him in his arms, holding him tightly to his chest. "I need you too, Henry," he sniffed, "I need you to be here for your mum, okay?"_

"_Will you be back?" Henry asked, his large dark eyes over flowing with fresh tears._

"'_Course I'll be back. I'm not one to give up without a fight. You'd do good to remember that."_

_Henry wiped his eyes with the back of his pajama sleeve and nodded._

_Killian cupped the back of his head and pressed a kiss to his forehead, "Now be a good lad and go back to bed, yeah?"_

_Henry wrapped his arms around the pirate once more, "I'll miss you," he murmured into his vest._

"_And I you, young Henry, very much."_

_Killian quietly climbed the steps to Emma's room and pushed the door open. He was grateful she could sleep through a storm; if she had been awake there was no way he would have been able to leave her. He lied down next to her, brushing the tendrils from her face. _

"_You bested me, Swan, in every way possible. You fixed a broken man. Thank you for that." He swallowed and let the tears roll down his face. "Don't ever give up hope, Emma, don't give up on me. Please," his voice broke as did a little piece of his heart. Killian leaned in and pressed a soft kiss to her mouth._

"_I love you. Always," he breathed against her lips, taking the pleasure of running his hand down her arm. He sat up and turned to stand when her hand reached out and grabbed his._

"_Mmm, Killian? What's wrong?" she hummed. He didn't dare turn lest she see the tears on his face but he could hear the smile in her voice._

"_Nothing, love, can't sleep is all. Go back to bed, I'll be a bit."_

"_Kay," she sighed with a smack of her lips. She brought his rugged hand up and placed a kiss on the inside of his palm before dropping it back to the bed. _

_Killian had to bite down on his trembling lip as the tears spilled over. It took everything he had not to pull her into his arms. He waited until he was sure she was asleep before he took his leave, taking one regretful look back over the apartment and the broken family that he had come to love._

"_It's a noble thing you're doing," a woman's voice airily called behind him. He'd seen her before, Nova, if he wasn't mistaken, or the blue fairy, back in their land. _

"_Then why does it hurt so much?" Killian replied gruffly his boots scuffing along the town line._

"_An act of sacrifice done out of love always does."_

_Killian looked out at the road beyond the line, in no hurry to make those first steps of his new life. _

"_Why are you here?" He asked casting her a side glance._

"_To leave you with a gift of sorts," she smiled. "Remove the hook…Hook." _

_Killian arched a brow but followed her instructions in giving the attachment a twist and sliding it out of its slot._

"_Completely."_

_Killian blew out an annoyed sigh and rolled up his sleeve, tugging at the buckles around the apparatus until it dropped to the ground with a clatter._

"_Happy?"_

_She removed the wand from her coat pocket and touched it to the jagged scar on his wrist and outburst a warm blue glow. When the light faded all the years' phantom aches and pains had vanished and in their place sat a hand. A new hand._

_Killian flexed and clenched the fingers in a trial fist, marveling at the limb he never gave second thought to having back._

"_Why?" he whispered._

"_Because, Killian Jones, you deserve some good for what you've done for us. And for what you're giving up; it's the least I can do," she grinned, picking up his hand to admire her 'handy' work. "Oh, one more thing. Once you cross Gold's magic will prevent you from coming back."_

"_I'm aware of the rules," Hook hissed._

"_Gold's magic doesn't work when he's not here. Spells included. That means you. Keep that in mind for the future, Killian." She winked and released his hand. "Good luck to you."_

* * *

"Emma? Emma, love say something."

She had sat there the entire time, listening to him speak, her features running through the ranges of anger to complete sadness but she never interrupted him. Not once.

Emma's mouth opened briefly before it shut again and she took in her bottom lip. Her head rose to meet his eyes and she crinkled her eyebrows.

"You…you left to save me?" It wasn't a question on her part, but more of a realization.

Killian nodded, "Of course I left to bloody save you!" He let a light laugh escape his lips. "Did you honestly think I just up and left for the hell of it?"

Her eyes dropped to her lap and she began to turn her hands around one another.

"I remember that night," she admitted quietly. "I remember you sounding so sad, I couldn't recall the words at the time, but you sounded so broken." Her fingers went to her lips, "I remember, Killian."

Emma crossed the gap between them, winding a hand in his hair as she clamped her lips down over his and shimmied onto his lap. She whimpered when his tongue swept across her bottom lip and delved into her mouth while both his hands found sanctuary on the warmth of her back. She pulled back to get a good look at the ocean of blue that were his eyes that she had missed so much, smiling before pressing a chaste kiss to his forehead.

Her hands rubbed the scruff on his cheeks before she pulled him to her again, breathing him in as she sunk into his kiss.

Killian caressed her cheek with his left hand and she placed hers over it, bringing it to her mouth and placing a kiss to each fingertip. He brushed her lips with his thumb grabbed it between her teeth, tugging gently.

"Easy, lass, it's been a while," Killian chuckled.

Her hands made work of the buttons on his shirt, peppering kisses down his chest with each one until she reached the top of his jeans. She came back up, hands on his belt and a smirk on her face.

She pressed her face in close, her lips grazing the shell of his ear, "I mean to have you, Killian Jones."

A sensual groan erupted from his throat when she took the tender piece of flesh in her mouth and he was quick to put her on her back. Pressing every bit of his body hard against hers as he mimicked her previous action.

"And have me, you shall."

.

* * *

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**A/N: Can I just say I love every time I run across a fic and they use the "I mean to have you" line so I had to use it, but I thought it would drive him mad with it coming out of her mouth.**

**That being said. I'd apologize for the Killian/Henry feels...but I'm not sorry, and I hope it brought you to tears. **

**Now feed that review box and make my night!**

**Shelly!**


	4. Chapter 4

The steady heart beat drumming in her ear was an all too familiar lullaby. A lullaby she had yearned for over the lost years without him in her bed.

No, their bed.

And now he was here, lying with her, fit together as one, and the pain of his eventual departure was already beginning to tug at her heart. Because he would have to leave right? If Gold being gone was the only thing allowing him to be here now she didn't want to think of his return. She also wondered if this was a mistake. If Killian was only to leave again for God only knows how long, perhaps she should have just stayed away from him. There was no way Gold would allow her to leave Storybrooke with him for her happy ending. Not with her life anyway. Emma gently ran her fingers through the patch of hair on his chest, snuggling her nose into his side to hide her threatening oncoming tears.

All good things came to an end. With that Emma Swan was all too familiar.

She gave his middle a squeeze and pressed a kiss to his shoulder and went to move away from him in search for her clothes. She was stopped by Killian's fingers wrapping around her wrist, giving her a gentle tug.

"Stay," he whispered sleepily.

Emma leaned over him, her hand stroking the scruff on his face and her thumb tracing the light scar on his cheek. She pressed a soft kiss to his opposite side, breathing him in; finding it impossibly hard to believe that still after all this time he still held the freeing scent of sea breeze.

"Killian, I can't," she apologized with a small frown.

"Why not, love?"

She bit down on her lower lip and just shook her head. "I can't," she repeated.

If Killian hadn't seen her lips move he wouldn't have known she spoke at all.

Emma pulled away from him and quickly got dressed, leaving the pirate feeling confused and rejected alone in the bed. She was pulling on her boots when he shifted to the edge of the bed, pulling the sheets around his waist.

"Emma, talk to me, please."

Emma squeezed her eyes shut and stood walking towards the door. "I just…I can't do this, not now. I'm sorry."

Killian's stomach threatened to spill its contents and his heart clenched in his chest. "What do you mean?" he stood, holding the sheets with one hand as he took a step toward her. She held up a hand to stop his movements. "Emma, don't do this, please don't walk away from this." he paused at the cracking in his voice, "from us."

"I can't take that risk, Jones. Not again." She didn't let the heartache in his voice falter her stance although it hurt her to see the pain in his searing blue eyes. And she knew the familiar words would only wound him more.

"Risk? Is that what I am, Swan? A bloody risk!?" He began to let out a dark laughter, running his hand through his hair as he paced in front of her. "I gave up everything for you!" He pointed an anguished finger at her, "I did it without second thought. Three hundred years of bottled up rage and unbridled revenge and would you like to know why?" He closed the gap between them, with nothing separating them but his hand on the roll in the sheet around his waist. "Because I believed in you, Emma. I believed in us." He leaned in close enough to taste the breath on her lips, "And I still do."

"And what happens when Gold comes back, Killian? Hmm? What happens then? Do you up and disappear for another few years and wait for him to leave again. Because that doesn't happen very often," Emma shot back.

"DAMNIT, EMMA!" His fist came down hard on the wall beside her head and she heard the wood splinter under his hand. "I know not what will happen when the crocodile returns, but know this," he pressed his forehead to hers and let out a sigh. "I will not leave you again. It was a mistake the first time, I should have found another way." Killian brought his hand up and slid it around the curve of her neck pressing her tighter against him his lashes fluttering against hers. "I cannot leave you, Emma. I will not."

"And what if there is no other way," she whispered in defeat, bringing a hand up to his shoulder. "Losing you- Killian, I don't think I could go through that again."

The corner of his mouth twitched upward and he took his hand in hers, pressing it the place where his heart lie. "You've never lost me, love, not for a moment. For while my heart beats so does my love for you."

Emma sighed, dropping her head to his shoulder and wrapping her arms around his back. She was a fool to think she could just walk away, not when she had done nothing but yearn for him in his absence. He pressed a kiss to her hair and held her close, his hand sneaking under her shirt and rubbing circles into her lower back.

Emma chuckled, her breath spreading a warmth across his skin. "We're a mess."

She felt his own laugh vibrate through his chest and another kiss was being brushed across her temple. "Aye lass, that we are. But you wouldn't have it any other way."

Emma pulled back and shook her head, a grin playing on her lips. "What fun would a seamless relationship with a dreaded pirate Captain be?"

"Ah, but you, Swan are far more dreadful than I when all riled up," he teased. He lowered his head and brushed the tip of his nose against hers before lightly capturing her lips, "And deliciously sinful."

Emma felt the heat begin to immediately pool in her abdomen and hated that she had to push him away again.

"Killian," she whimpered as his lips began to move down her neck, "Killian, I really can't stay."

With a final nip to her skin he pulled back, not bothering to hide the dejection in his face. "For so long I have wanted to do nothing but wake with you wrapped in my arms, and now you are the one who is going to leave."

Emma gave him a poke to the chest, "Don't you guilt trip me, Jones! What will I say to Mary Margaret? To David? They're watching me like a hawk. The two of them have been staying at my place ever since the hospital incident."

"Let me back in, Emma," he pleaded, "It was once my home as well. Our home, our bed. Or have you forgotten?" He said with a curl of his lip.

"I can't" she said through begging eyes, "not tonight." Emma sighed and pressed her palms against the sides of his face with a sad smile. "I'm sorry."

Killian's eye's dimmed before they slid closed and he nodded, turning his face to catch the inside of her palm in a swift kiss. "Don't leave me be for too long, love."

"Tomorrow, I promise." Her hands slid down, tracing the scars that lined his body and coming to rest on his hips. "Besides, I have something you might like to see."

Killian leaned forward, lips brushing her neck and husky whisper sending chills across her flesh.

"The only thing I'd like to see, Emma, is you back in that bed." His teeth lightly scraped her skin and her arms contracted around him. Killian continued on, dragging his lip up her neck and to her ear, his tongue darting out and flickering against her. Her knees wobbled and his arm was quick to slink around her back. He gently tugged on her earlobe, scruff tickling the side of her face.

"But if you're sure you can't stay-"

Emma spun him around and pinned him to the wall, her hands twined with his and securing them over his head. The only thing keeping the sheet around him now was the closeness of their bodies and she took the advantage to press her hips up into his.

Killian groaned and moved to catch her lips with his own but she ducked out of the way with a smirk.

"You see it's not nice to tease, my sweet Captain Jones."

A smile played on his lips while a sigh fell from his mouth. There was no Captain Hook here, Hook was someone that had been left in the past the moment he chose to be with her. Sure she still used the moniker to get under his skin when they had a row, and it always bothered him more than he cared to let her know. But now she was calling him by his proper title, his name of old, one he hadn't been called by anyone in centuries. And it was heaven in his ears.

Emma leaned in further, her lips ghosting over his cheek, "Tell me, Captain – " she secured his wrists in one of her hands and brought her other hand down between them, cupping him through the sheets, smirking when he let out a shuddering breath in her ear. " –do you enjoy being teased?"

"Emma, please," he swallowed, turning his head in an attempt to steal a kiss. Could he have easily over-taken her? Yes. But what was the fun in that?

"I already told you, Killian. I have to go." She pressed a chaste kiss on his lips and released him, leaving him half a second chance to grab the tented sheet at his waist.

She had just gotten the door open when he snapped it shut from behind her, causing her to turn to face him, and when she did she was met with a sinister smirk and dark navy eyes.

"Oh, no, lass. Now you stay, if not only for a little while."

"Killian, I really—"

His hand shot out and ripped her shirt open, sending the buttons scattering across the floor.

"Oops," he grinned with a bounce of his eyebrows.

Emma's mouth dropped open, gaping at the ruined state of her shirt and the smug face of the linen clad pirate in front of her. "Seriously? You're gonna pay for that, Jones."

"Is that a guarantee?"

She took a step forward, closing the small gap between them and grabbed the sheet in her fist, ripping it away with a yank. "It's a promise," she growled, just before she reached up and fused her mouth with his.

.

* * *

.

Emma felt like a teenager; sneaking back into her own apartment well past the morning hours with what was obviously not her shirt on under her jacket.

It was kind of thrilling actually. She never had this experience in her own years, sure she had done her fair amount of sneaking around but it was never for the sake of being in someone else's bed nor was it ever in the presence of her birth parents. She tiptoed over to the metal stairs, taking them one tantalizing step at a time until one groaned under her weight.

The living room lights flicked on and Emma's lips pressed into a tight line. "Shit!" she whispered to herself, turning slowly to see said parents standing beside each other with their arms crossed in front of them.

"Evening, Emma. Or should I say good morning?" David said in a scolding fatherly tone. "It was so nice of you to decide to come back home."

"Have a good time?" Mary Margaret smirked with an arched brow and David shot her a sharp look, not approving that his wife was less bothered that their daughter was out gallivanting with a pirate that left her a broken mess once before.

Emma rolled her eyes and went back down to the bottom of the steps, shedding her coat and tossing it over the back of the couch. "You know what, I really don't need you guys to be here."

"Clearly, you do." David sneered.

"I can take care of myself!"

"Oh? Like you have been? Putting on a happy face for Henry when we all knew you were anything but." David crossed the room, closing the distance between them. "Once a pirate always a pirate, Emma. It'll only hurt worse the next time."

"There won't be a next time!"

"You also said there wouldn't be a first time!" he countered, raising his voice to meet her tone.

Emma averted his gaze and ignored the churning pain in her gut. It had been hell getting David to accept the fact that his daughter was willingly choosing to be with the famed pirate Captain and it took Emma, Mary Margaret Henry and in the end even Killian himself to convince him that the feelings the pair shared were mutual and weren't going anywhere.

Come to find out, even after all the time they had spent apart they still fit together seamlessly.

"It wasn't like that, he had no choice," Emma whispered.

David scoffed, "Familiar words. Care to elaborate?"

"No," Emma answered bitterly. "I'm going to bed. You want answers, get them yourself."

It was probably a horrible idea sending her father to confront the man that had been a thorn in the whole family's side for the past six years, but at the moment she figured it would be the easiest way. Let them fight it out. Just like old times.

"Emma- " Mary Margaret beckoned softly, "We're just worried that's all."

"It's not me you need to be worrying about, it's Gold."

"Gold?" David pitched in, "Why Gold? He isn't a threat to any of us any longer. Hell, he practically did a one eighty after everything settled down, and now that he has Belle back- "

Emma held up a hand to silence him. "Henry is the only one he holds no threat to. Maybe."

Mary Margaret rushed to her side and grabbed hold of her arm, "What are you saying?"

Emma shook her head, "Nothing. Like I said, you want answers, go and get them. I'm not discussing this until we can all sit down and do it together. Openly."

Perhaps if she pushed her mother to tag along Killian wouldn't feel the sharp end of David's wrath.

Ha! Yeah right. She was sure he was still going to be less than gentle with his words for the pirate. But at least things would be out in the open then. And then just maybe they could figure out a way to keep Killian in Storybrooke, or at least let Emma go with him if given the chance. But she honestly didn't know if she could. She couldn't up and leave Henry. Yes he was nearly an adult himself now but she hadn't nearly enough time with him.

They would find a way. They had no choice; Emma refused to let him go again.

They would find a way.

She just hoped they would find it in time.

.

* * *

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**A/N: sorry guys! I was out of town last weekend then I lost half of this and had to start over :( So I won't bore you with a terribly long AN Just leave your thoughts in the box below, if you please.**

**Thanks!**

**Shelly**


	5. Chapter 5

Killian was less than pleased that she did in fact leave, but she did stick around much later than he had thought she would. His body was tired in ways he thought he would never feel exhaustion again. Muscles ached and his lungs still struggled to regain their breath after she had left the comfort of his arms with one last searing kiss. It had damn near tempted him to pull her back down yet again, but there would be time for that later and he had selfishly kept her long enough.

He showered and fell into the bed, not thinking about how he would rather be alongside the sea, but thinking about his Swan and the night she let him inside that impregnable wall and he gave himself to her completely.

"_What are you doing here, Swan?" he called from the bed before she had a chance to raise a hand and knock at the frame of the open door to his Captain's quarters._

"_I…" Emma chewed on her bottom lip and glanced around the room, her eyes wandering everywhere but the pirate in the room. "I just wanted to thank you," she all but whispered. "You know, for helping with Regina, and keeping Henry safe."_

_Killian sat up, a chuckle vibrating through his chest. "Oh, so now you want to thank me. Funny, when the lad found his way onto __**my ship**__ you wanted nothing but to curse me."_

"_Hook- "_

"_Young Henry sought me out to aid you and I was more than happy to oblige, but you still didn't trust me"_

"_Killian, please," she stressed quietly taking a step into the cabin._

"_No, lass, none of that. I've waited far too long to hear you call me by my proper name." He stalked over to his desk and poured himself a healthy glass of rum, swallowing it down in a gulp. "Now it's just too much to bear." He shook the bottle at her in offering and Emma shook her head._

"_Well then, if you're quite done, darling, it'd be best if you leave."_

"_Just like that, Hook? No snarky comments for me? What ever happened to Captain Innuendo?" Emma asked bitterly._

"_Why? Do you miss it?" He sounded out each syllable to the letter and took a step closer to her, his eyes darkening._

_Emma's eyes slid closed and she turned her eyes from his, "I miss you. The you I met on the beanstalk. I miss Killian."_

_She was aware of that he closed the gap between them when the scent of leather, rum and sea invaded her senses and she could feel the warmth radiating off his body. She opened her eyes and peered up at him under her lashes, meeting his heavy blue eyes. _

_He tilted her chin up to face him directly with the curve of his hook. "Don't say things you'll regret, Emma."_

"_Regret? I don't regret meeting you! I regret leaving you chained up with that giant, I regret not searching for you the second I knew you were in Storybrooke," she placed one hand on the cool exterior of his vest and rested the other on his rugged cheek, "I regret not trusting you." _

_After he said nothing she let her hand fall away with a sigh, turned and exited the cabin._

_Emma managed to make it to the helm before she was being spun around and being pressed into the wheel of the ship, being bracketed in by Killian's arms. Thunder clapped above them but neither moved as they stood in a breathy standoff, inches from one another's face. _

"_And now?" Killian growled through gritted teeth._

"_Wha- "_

"_Now, Swan! DO YOU TRUST ME NOW?" he yelled over the thunder as the rain began to fall down on them._

_Emma smirked, "Stupid, pirate, of course I trust you. Would I be here if I didn't" She arched a questioning brow._

_The rain fell harder now, matting the hair to his forehead and leaving it clinging to both of their lashes. _

"_Who am I, Emma?" he whispered, pressing a wet forehead hard against hers as he squeezed his eyes shut."_

"_Are you asking, or do you genuinely want to know?" she scoffed. _

_He pressed harder. "Who. Am. I?"_

_She took his face in her hands and forced him to look at her, fear and pain clearly showing in his eyes that he was slowly slipping away. He had been fighting three hundred years of revenge and she knew that pushing it aside while his crocodile was at arm's reach was pushing him over the edge._

"_You- are Killian Jones. The man who helped save this town, who kept his promise to keep my son safe when his father fled back to his home. The same man who trusted me when I couldn't trust myself. Killian Jones, the pirate Captain that threw a sword fight so I could get back to Henry. There is a good man in there, Killian; you only have to learn how to set him free. Let this lost boy find his way to a better life."_

_He was staring back at here with a softness in his eyes and she wondered for a moment if the wet in dripping down his cheeks was entirely made of rain water. He brought a hand up and caressed her cheek before it gently wiggled its way under her sodden hair and landed on her neck. He bent down and softly pressed his lips to hers, breath shuddering and his mouth still hovering when he pulled away._

_It had been chaste. Simple yet electric and a bolt of lightning struck the sea when their lips met for a second time._

_Emma jumped and his arms tightened around her, his lips settling on her hair line as he looked out at the angering storm._

"_Come, love, let's get you inside."_

_Once back in the cabin he removed her coat and went to rifle through his things for some dry clothes for her to wear. He came back with a simple black shirt and a pair of tan trousers. She took them with a smile and dropped them on the chair beside the desk, backing him into the wall._

"_Emma, what- "_

"_Shhh," she hushed him with a finger to his lips and began to undo the buckles on his vest. "You're just as wet as I, dear Captain." She slid the vest from his shoulders and her fingers trailed down the V that was already exposed on his chest and moved on to his shirt buttons. Emma tugged him back down and pressed a slow kiss to the side of his mouth._

"_Take me, Killian," she whispered, pressing a leg between his. Emma pressed harder into him, her lips ghosting over his ear, "Take me now."_

_He groaned and flipped her against the wall and now it was his turn to undo the buttons of her shirt…with a swish of his hook. His eyes went wide with shock the second after he had done it but she had only grinned and grabbed his arm and slid the pointy end of his hook under the mid-section of her bra and split the fabric in two._

_His mouth was back on hers in a second and she was shoving his shirt the rest of the way off his body and now wiggling out of her jeans. She needed something of hers to wear back after all. She stood before him, running her hands along his torso, pausing to trace the scars on his lean body and press kisses to them. Her hand ran up the length of the contraption on his left arm and went for the straps that were lashed around it. _

_Killian covered her hand with his and weakly smiled. "Emma…I…"_

"_It's all right." She kissed him assuringly and undid the first buckle, rubbing at the redness it left behind. She continued until it fell loose and slid from his arm revealing the marred wrist where his left hand should have been. He recoiled slightly when she took it in her hand and rubbed her thumb over the scar that ran around the edge. _

"_I'm sorry, about Gold. But, Killian, you can't kill him. Him being family now really makes matters worse." She lifted the limb to her lips and left a warm kiss along the scar tissue._

"_Well, love, I guess you'll just have to find other ways to distract me," he said with a wry grin and a bounce of his eyebrows. _

_Emma backed him up until his knees hit the bed and pushed him down, straddling him and locking her arms around his neck. "Now there's that flirty pirate I've been looking for."_

_He chuckled and lightly nipped at her lower lip. "Oh, love, I never left. Been feeling a bit down is all."_

"_Well, none of that now; it's time to put all that talk to good work."_

"_Aye, lass, and it's about bloody time."_

A brisk knocking pulled Killian away from his mind. He rolled over in the bed, running his hand over his face with a sigh, squinting at the light that was now streaming through the curtains. "Every bloody time," he murmured to himself.

The knocking started up again, louder this time and came in faster impatient raps against the wood.

"Yeah, all right already, give me a minute!"

Killian grumbled obscenities as he pulled a dark tee over his head and marched over to the door, throwing it open to reveal the last two people that he thought would want to see him. And he wasn't particularly fond of seeing them either. Well, the one he didn't mind so much, she tended to see his side of things eventually, but the other well…he'd always put on a smile for Emma's sake.

"Ah, to what do I owe the pleasure of receiving the Charming couple this early in the morn?" He gently took Mary Margaret's hand and quickly dropped a kiss to her knuckles.

Old habits die hard.

"Watch it, Hook," David warned taking a bowing step closer to the pirate. "And it's nearly noon."

Killian held up his hands in both defense and to show that the proof of his old moniker had been indeed replaced.

"Ah, ah, ah," he smirked waving the digits on his left hand, "Not, quite, your majesty."

David groaned and rolled his eyes, "I'm sure I can find plenty of reasons for you to keep the name…or for you to lose the hand."

"David, stop," Mary Margaret coaxed with a gentle hand on his arm. She turned her bright eyes on Killian and didn't hesitate in grasping the new hand in hers, inspecting it and the faint line that trailed around his wrist. "How?"

"Struck a deal with Gold I suspect." David's voice filled the air before Killian could respond.

Killian jerked his hand back and fisted it in the collar of the prince's shirt. "I did no such thing! Nor would I ever!" he snarled taking a few deep breaths before he released the man on his own accord. "You might have noticed in the hospital if you weren't too busy shoving me into the wall. Now what, pray tell, are the pair of you doing here?"

"Emma sent us. We had questions...," Mary Margaret eyed the pirate conspicuously, "…obviously, and she thought it'd be best if we got the answers from the source."

Killian chuckled. "Right, 'course she did. Clever lass, she'd be the one to try to initiate some type of bonding."

"Well the two of you have certainly bonded," David mumbled under his breath.

"And I'm glad to see that you accept that," Killian droned, "Much like you did the first go round."

David sighed and ran a hand over his hair, "Look, I just don't want her to get hurt."

Killian took a step forward and clapped a hand over the man's shoulder. "Trust me, mate, that's the last thing I want as well. And I will do everything in my power and beyond to prevent that from happening."

David shook his head and rolled his eyes, "I'm still not happy about it."

"I'd expect you to be anything but," Killian grinned with a wink. "Now," he crossed to the center of the room and rubbed his hands together addressing both of them. "I suggest you get comfy. It's not exactly a short tale."

.

* * *

.

Emma woke to an empty apartment, smiling at the clock that read one p.m. on her night stand. She hadn't slept that good in so many years, she had almost forgotten what it meant to get a good night's sleep. Still wrapped up in Killian's shirt, she circled her arms around her body and tucked her nose into her shoulder, breathing in his scent. She knew she wouldn't be able to deny him if he asked her to stay again and their time was short enough already.

She flipped on the coffee maker, despite it being past lunch time and leaned against the counter eagerly waiting for the pot to fill. Her cell phone started to trill from the counter top and her heart dropped when she saw that it was Henry calling. Did he know? Did _Gold_ know? Surely Mary Margaret or David wouldn't have called and told him that Killian had showed up in the middle of the night the day he left.

"Hey kid," she answered nervously.

"Mom! Hi! I've been trying all morning! Everything okay?"

"Yep, everything's fine, I was just sleeping." Emma's hand slapped her forehead. Out of everyone Henry was the first to know that she never slept anymore, not for more than a few hours.

"A nap, I wasn't feeling good. Must be because I miss you," she sighed, in a lame attempt to recover herself. "How are you? How's New York?"

"Great! Dad's taking me to 'see the sights' tomorrow."

She could practically hear the smile in his voice and she couldn't help but be jealous. "That's great, make sure you take lots of pictures for me."

"You should come visit for a day or two, mom. It would be good for you to get away. Take your mind off of…things," Henry sighed.

Emma's lips quirked, almost all grown up and still tiptoeing around her like a small boy. "Henry, I really don- "

She was interrupted by a tapping at the door.

"Hold on."

As if his timing couldn't be any worse. Killian stood in all his modern day glory with a shy smile on his face and his hands secured behind his back. He took one look at the flash of fright behind Emma's eyes and took a quick step inside and shut the door behind him.

"Everything all right, love?"

She pushed him against the door and clamped a hand down over his mouth and gave him a warning look to shut the hell up.

"Mom? What was that? Someone there?" A slight panic apparent in Henry's voice.

"Kid, I'd love to come out and visit, but I don't think that'd be a wise idea right now. I gotta run, call me later tonight okay?"

"Are you okay?"

"Great. Something just…came up."

"Okay. I miss you too you know."

"Thanks, Henry. Love you." With that Emma hung up the phone and released a very amused Killian from her grip. Brows raised and a smirk glued to his face.

"Wasn't quite the 'hello' I was expecting, but if you're to shove me against the door every time I come round I'll be sure to do it more often."

Emma laughed and gave his shoulder a light smack. "Shut up! If Henry knows you're here it won't be long before Gold finds out and decides to come back early. That can't happen."

"I'd have to agree."

She stood there, eyes lingering on his frame propped up against the door, dressed in a blue button down, sleeves pushed up to his elbows, paired with a dark pair of jeans. She drew her bottom lip between her teeth and let a chuckle escape her lips.

"What is it?" he asked taking a step closer and gathering her hands in his.

"You," she answered plainly. "You look so…different."

"I had a change of clothes, darling, that's all. I'm still the same on the inside." Killian pushed a lock of hair behind her ear and pressed a kiss to her forehead.

Emma's hands flitted up the front of his shirt and undid the first four buttons, allowing her palm to rest on the warmth of his skin. "For old time's sake," she winked, pulling away from him to go fetch herself a cup of her forgotten coffee.

"I believe you said you had something to show me, love?" Killian came around the kitchen island and rested his elbows on the counter top, lacing his finger together and resting his chin on top.

Emma smirked as she finished stirring the milk into her coffee. "What happened to your patience, Captain? You were once a patient man."

"Still am, lass. Depending on the subject matter." He winked, his tongue darting out and grazing over his bottom lip.

She bit back a laugh and shook her head. "Let me take a shower and then we'll be on our way." Emma drained the cup and set it in the sink.

"You need a hand, love. I got two now you know." Killian was suddenly behind her, hands on her hips and his breath ghosting over her ear.

Emma turned in his grip and dragged a hand through his hair, bringing him down to place a kiss on his cheek. "I'll pass," she whispered, smiling against him. "Besides if I agreed we'd never make it out the door," she grinned and chastely kissed him again and he reluctantly released her.

"Honestly, Emma, I don't see the problem in that," he called as she sauntered down the hall, towards the bathroom. "My shirt looks good on you by the way!" He saw a flash of blonde hair whip around before the balled up piece of fabric was being tossed down the hall at him and the distinct glimmer of mischief in her eyes as she disappeared behind the door.

.

* * *

.

Emma had her arm securely tucked around his as she led him down to the docks, amused by the confusion that was building in ripples across his face. His arm squeezed against her a little tighter, pulling her closer to him.

"Emma, what are we doing here?" he whispered into her ear

"Trust me, Killian. You're going to enjoy this." She grinned smugly and continued to pull him down the wooden planks until they reached an empty space and Emma untangled her arm from his. She ran a hand down the length of his chest before heaving a sigh and turning and taking a step off the dock before disappearing completely.

Killian's head cocked in curiosity and he tried to push the sure fed false excitement building in his gut down to a simmer as he followed after her.

No. It wasn't possible. There was simply no way. He had watched her vanish into the portal, sucked in by the impact as the Crocodile looked on with a satisfying smile plastered on his face. Enjoying the pain it caused him to witness such a thing.

"_What's a Captain without his ship dearie? Seems you're going to have to go chasing after it."_

_Killian took a step forward burying the ache in his chest and secured an arm around Emma. _

"_It's going to take a lot more than that to get rid of me, mate."_

He had watched her sail away, yet here she was, bold and as marvelous as ever.

"Emma- "

"Welcome home, Killian," she beamed, lifting her hands and spinning in a small circle.

He let out a breath he hadn't been aware he was holding, running his hand down along the railing and letting his eyes slip closed as he listened to the water gently slapping the sides. She had found his ship, Emma had gotten her back, and just when he didn't think it was possible he loved her even more.

He closed the gap between them in three long strides, picking her up, firmly locking his arms beneath her bottom and she wrapped her legs around his waist.

"Oh, Emma," he breathed.

She laughed, brushing her hands along his cheeks, her hair falling around his face in a golden curtain. She leaned in and claimed his lips in a kiss.

"How?"

"How?" she chuckled. "How do we do most things around here, Killian? You were here for the first bean harvest, you know how successful it was."

"Yes but," he set her down and took her hands in his, "How did you get her back here? Did you have to find a crew?" He looked away for a moment, recalling some of the scurvy men he had to deal with over the centuries. "Gods, that must have been dreadful."

"No, no crew." Emma drew out the words and arched a brow. "I, uh, I actually didn't have to do much at all."

Killian's mouth hung open in realization. Emma bloody Swan went and formed a bond with his ship. _His ship_. Nobody had ever been able to sail her alone, try as they may. Hell nobody had ever been able to sail her without his permission before. Not without complications anyway. But this woman, this beautiful siren, his Swan had claimed his ship and she went willingly.

"She really is a marvel, Killian." Emma released his hands and went over to the mast and ran her hand down its length and a warm breeze wrapped around them.

"Seriously?!" Killian barked out at the wind, "You bloody traitor!"

"Killian, I- " Emma began in her defense.

"No, not you love, the damn ship." He gave a surrendering sigh and rolled his eyes, "She chose you. You rescued her and for that she gave you her allegiance."

Killian stepped in front of Emma and brushed the hair from her eyes, dipping his head low. "Looks like I found me a new first mate."

"And your last," Emma grinned with a whisper, closing the space between them, her hands winding in the softness of his hair.

"She's cloaked, is that you're doing as well, lass?"

Emma shrugged, "What can I say, I've gotten a better control of my magic now."

"Does the crocodile know?" Killian asked with a concerned arched brow. "How well is it cloaked exactly?"

"I'm sure he knows, Killian," she sighed, "He just let me wallow in my misery. It was an attempt to find you after you left. I thought maybe you did go back after all. But there she was, alone, drifting, with nothing but a few birds keeping her company. I couldn't leave her there, she's a part of you." A dry laugh squeezed its way past her lips, "I spent a lot of time out here you know, a lot of nights. Thinking it might make me feel closer to you." Emma shook her head and rested it on his shoulder. "It didn't. If anything it made things worse. I haven't been back in years. Henry checks in, tidies up and what not, but I couldn't do it anymore."

Killian wrapped his arms around her back and held her close, pressing his lips to her hair. He would have given anything to take back all those lost years and gladly. If only she didn't have to relive any of the pain and heartache she went through.

"I was never that far away, you know," he whispered. "Went to work on a shipping boat, stayed close to the coast of Maine as much as I could. Watching, waiting for that bastard to cross the line, listening for any rumors." He cupped her face in his hands, "Not a day went by where I didn't regret leaving, Emma, I need you to know that."

She nodded and offered him a weak smile to which he accepted with a soft kiss, tucking her back into his chest.

They remained wrapped in each other until the sun began to set and the air began to cool. Now sitting on a crate, Emma leaning into him as Killian held her from behind, his head nestled in the crook of her neck. They only had a little over a week and still no plan, something neither of them wanted to think about because the tender moments they shared were far too precious to pass up to the ticking clock of their impending fate.

Killian nudged her with his chin, "We should be getting you home, love," he finished with a kiss to the patch of exposed skin just above her shoulder.

"Or we could stay," Emma offered up quietly, turning her head back to meet the clear blue of his eyes. "The Captain's quarters have been without its Captain for far too long." She turned her body and wrapped her arms around his body. "And I've missed this; I don't want to lose it just yet."

Killian shifted her so she was more centered across him and he swept her legs under his arms, picking her up and carried her up the steps to the helm and to the door that lie behind the wheel. She was the one to reach down and push it open, her eyes never leaving his as he set her down on the bed and removed her boots. Caressing her thigh and pressing a kiss to the inside of her knee as he slid down her pants. Killian removed his own jeans and shoes, slipping into the bed beside her and pulling her in tightly to his side. Neither of them had any ideas on what to do about the pending Gold issue and both were more afraid than the other would care to admit. But tonight they would enjoy the warmth and comfort they brought one another as they slept in an intricate knot of tangled limbs and black satin sheets.

And in the morning they would wake, and start their day as one.

.

* * *

.

**A/N: How about some lovely reviews? Hmm?**

**Edit: If you happen to find mistakes don't be afraid to send me a pm instead of pissing around the anon reviews. Let's be honest for a second. I don't do this for a living, hell, half the time I do it at three in the morning...which it is now. So I'm sorry if I happen to use the wrong word and you get miffed. I don't beta, I give it a read through and stick it up. That's all. And sorry for the rant, but that is one of my biggest peeves. I don't pick through other peoples fics...I enjoy them for what they are. Oh and I fixed it anon. I'd say hope you're happy now but I'm guessing not...wow...I'm really bitchy tonight. **


	6. Chapter 6

The rock of the Jolly Roger was as gentle as a mother's hand on her child's cradle and that is exactly what it was; lulling her keepers to sleep. But Emma couldn't sleep, not with the clock ticking loudly in her ear as an ever constant reminder. Killian, on the other hand, was dead weight beside her. Lips slightly parted and his warm breath wayfaring across her shoulder and into her hair, his arm draped protectively across her middle. She turned and smiled at the sight of his seemingly ageless face. He looked so at peace while he slept, like the boy he was while traversing Neverland for so many years, only to return as a broken man. He had so much buried pain inside of him and yet his capacity to love went to unreachable fathoms. A pirate that loved without bounds. Who knew?

Her pirate. With eyes the color of the sky and would forever hold the scent of the sea along with her heart.

Emma brushed her fingers through the top of his hair and pressed a kiss to his forehead before gently lifting the arm that held her in place and rolling away from him. Killian grumbled her name in his sleep and turned over, his lips quirking upward.

Even in dreams, she decided, he was just as forward.

She grabbed the long neglected leather coat from the back of the door and slipped it on, tightening it around her body, relishing in the missed scent of his leather. She quietly closed the door behind her and wandered down onto the main deck.

* * *

They had decided to drift down away from the harbor a little ways. Not enough to be on anyone's radar but just enough so it felt as if they had gotten away from everything for an evening. They sailed until Storybrooke was merely a speck on the mainland and dropped anchor for a night among the stars. She had hoped it would help clear her mind, give her a fresh start on where to start with this Gold debacle; but it was only making things worse. And now she was getting a headache to boot.

Emma leaned against the railing, her fingers tracing the lines of the woodwork.

"What am I going to do?" she whispered aloud.

A warm wisp of wind wrapped around her and hummed through the sails.

"You really are a little bit of a traitor aren't you," she chuckled, giving the railing an affectionate pat. "Us girls have to stick together after all, I suppose."

She went back to staring down at the gentle waves that were gently pressing into the ships side as they swayed, the moonlight's reflection rippling with each movement.

"Emma?"

"Hmm?" She turned to see a disheveled Killian standing behind her. Hair awry, shirt open and his pants weren't even buttoned. She chuckled and closed the distance between them and fixed the button on his jeans.

"Everything, all right, love?" he asked, running a hand down the back of her hair, his eyes hooded and still full of sleep.

"Fine," she assured him. "You on the other hand look like you could use another forty years sleep."

"What can I say? My bed, on my ship with my Emma grants for a very nice sleep indeed," he smirked, blinking himself into a more coherent state. "Is that my coat?"

Emma dusted her hands down the lapels. "What this old thing?" Emma took a step back and did a spin causing the back to twirl out and she grinned. "Oh, I just found it lying around, looked like it needed some attention."

Killian took a step toward her, "Looks good on you, Swan." He licked his lips and drew the bottom one between his teeth. His once sleepy gaze turning predatory.

Emma froze. "Wait a minute." Her hands grabbed at the sides of the leather about to shed it from her body when he stopped her.

"I quite like it," he enunciated, hands sliding down to her hips and beginning close her up.

"How many women have been inside this coat, Jones?" Emma asked sharply with an accusing eye.

Killian chuckled, "Oh, Emma, green however, is not fetching on you." He brushed her nose with his before pressing a light kiss to her lips. "But to answer your question…none."

"Really? At all?"

He knew the question had been directed at Milah and how Emma could be envious of a dead woman he would never understand. He might have loved her but she wasn't his true love the dynamics of their first kiss alone was enough to settle that. The current that came with it, that flowed through his body and filled him as if he had been incomplete until that moment. He never had that with Milah. What they had was a hurried crash of lips in the alleyway behind a tavern away from prying eyes. Hastily done and full of drunken giggles. Fun yes, sparks, no.

He took her hands in his once she was all done up and pressed a kiss to her knuckles. "You, Emma Swan, are the first and last lass that will ever be in that coat." He pulled her to his chest, one arm slipping around her back while the other held her hand and he began to rock her gently back and forth, gently coaxing her into a familiar dance. "Perhaps, one day with nothing underneath," he teased, giving her a spin.

"Pirate," Emma chuckled.

Killian winked and pulled her back in, kissing her soundly before falling back into rhythm, humming softly, Emma listening to the vibrations echoing in his chest. This was another thing she missed greatly, their star infused dance sessions. What had started out as a simple swaying middle school dance had evolved to an intimate waltz around the deck. Another fact about Killian Jones: he could dance, and he enjoyed the intimacy it entailed. Light touches would guide her body where it needed to go, when to spin out and if he was feeling especially frisky when he was going to bend her into a dip. He used to whisper wants of whisking her away to Neverland to dance amongst the stars not just beneath them. To see her shimmer with stardust in her hair. She would have been lying if she said she secretly didn't want just that when the time was right.

Killian nuzzled the top of her head with his cheek and pressed a kiss to her temple, pausing his humming for only a second as he did so. She breathed in the lost scent of the leather and rum, closing her eyes as he gently glided her along with ease. The walls that she threw back up the moment he left crumbling down to rubble in the wake of their steps.

She just wanted everything back to normal, or at least as normal as things got in Storybrooke. Her broken family under one roof living out their happily ever after. Killian never asked to play the fathering role in Henry's life, but he had stepped up to it gallantly. Whether he wanted it or not.

Did he, though? Did he want it?

"Killian?" she beckoned softly.

"Yes, love?" he replied with a whisper in her ear.

She didn't reply, deciding not to bring the subject up now and shook her head against his chest. "Nothing, never mind."

Killian stilled their steps and looked down on her with concerning eyes. "What's wrong, Emma, love? What is it?"

Emma smiled softly running her hand down his chest, "It's nothing."

Killian's eyebrows knitted together and his lips pursed. "This is not the time to be building walls, darling."

Emma breathed a light laugh tugging him over to a crate and urged him to sit beside her. She took a breath and laced her fingers with his.

"Henry knew. You said as much when you told me and maybe if I paid attention I wouldn't have been such a wreck. He was upset, but he kept telling me not to worry. That good things have a way of working out. I suppose he couldn't out right tell me Gold was to blame, who knows what I would have done."

"He's a brilliant lad, your Henry. Perceptive, just like his mother." Killian rubbed the scruff on his chin and looked out to the sea. "Can't wait to see what adolescence looks like on him."

Emma grinned. The two of them did have an instant bond and she had secretly loved that they had taken to each other so well. David was all but heartbroken when Henry had asked to take up sword lessons with Killian when David hadn't the time to keep teaching him.

"He loved you as well, you know. With Neal back in New York you were the closest thing to a father figure he had." Her voice dropped off at the end. He was who he was after all, and three hundred years plus of piracy didn't just disappear in the span of a few years. No matter what he felt for the pair of them the family aspect had never come up in conversation before.

"I know."

Emma blinked at the sound simplistic answer he provided and stared at him with mouth agape. She wasn't sure what she was expecting, but it sure as hell hadn't been that.

Killian chuckled at her response and closed her mouth with his finger. "Honestly, lass, don't look so surprised. Henry is every bit of you all wrapped up in a tiny package, just bursting for an adventure. Or at least he was, I'm sure he's grown quite a bit by now. But still, how could I not fall for something as precious as that." He pulled her in and pressed a kiss to her forehead. "Worrying me like that, Swan," he sighed, "it's enough to drive a man mad."

So maybe family life with her pirate wasn't such a stretch of a dream after all. Now she just had to figure out a way to get them safely in the same home, without having to fear for their lives daily.

"We should talk to Regina, maybe she can help."

"Perhaps I spoke too soon," He grumbled. "That woman tried to kill you as well as your parents, Emma," Killian countered. "Do you really think that wise?"

"No." Emma agreed shaking her head and maneuvering herself out from his grip and standing from the crate. "But we can't keep sitting here and doing nothing, Killian!" She ran a hand through her hair, letting it fall down and hit her thigh with a slap. "If Gold goes after me it's going to affect Henry, which in turn is going to affect Regina. Maybe, just maybe she will help. For his sake."

"But you have control over your magic now as well, no? Why not take care of the Crocodile yourself? Hmm?" Killian pressed his hands into his knees and stared at her through narrowed eyes.

He was joking right? He had to be joking. There was no way he would suggest such a thing. Or was this just his sick way of getting her to fulfill the revenge that he never got to partake in. Her heart clenched at the thought and Emma stumbled backward.

"You're not serious," she breathed out in a barley audible voice.

Killian's dark eyes never strayed from hers as he stood and approached her, stopping at an arm's length away. He nodded. "Aye."

"I can't believe you!" she snapped. "How could you even suggest such a thing?! Christ, Killian!"

He went to make a grab for her arm but she turned and jerked out of his reach. "Emma—"

"Don't you touch me!"

Her words stung like the venom they were issued with, ripping their way through his soul. "Emma, love, please. Listen to me." His eyes had softened but he kept his voice as firm as he could. How could she not see the danger this man presented to her and Henry if he was allowed to keep dangling their lives above them on a proverbial wire?

"Is that what you were hoping all along, _Hook_? To waltz right back into my life, win me over and then _have me_ finish out your unresolved revenge?" Emma pushed the building tears away with a hard blink.

"What? Emma, no!" Killian argued, eyes flashing wide before he took a step towards her only to be stopped by the palm of her hand.

"You never changed. You just found a new way to finish things out. Fucking pirate." She stared at him momentarily, wondering if the hurt in the creases of his face were real or imaginary. He'd been the only person who had ever been able to almost successfully lie to her. On more than one occasion. She wet her lips and shook her head in disappointment, turning and heading up the steps to the helm.

"Dimmit, Swan!" Killian tugged at his hair and followed after her, grasping onto her elbow and refusing to relinquish his grip when she struggled in his hold.

"Let me go, Hook."

"No," he growled through clenched teeth. "Now you listen to me, _princess_. The only thing I was _hoping _to do was to keep you and your lad safe without having to leave you again. And since that…_man_…enjoys threatening your lives the only option I saw was to eliminate said threat. Savvy? So yes. I'm a _fucking pirate_. I'd like to think a bloody good one at that. And when someone intends on taking what I love from me I _fully _intend on putting a stop to it, with whatever means come about. So sorry, that I put your _abilities_ up for auction; I saw an opportunity and I took it. Pirate." He yanked her closer and dipped his head so it was level with hers, his breath ghosting over her lips and his now stormy eyes locked onto her slowly breaking gaze.

"I meant it when I said I believed in us, Emma, but this game with my trust is going to have to end. I'm not leaving. I'd die for you if it came down to it. Trust in that." He released her with a slight shove, brushed past her and entered his quarters with a rough slam of the door.

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* * *

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**A/N Yeah...so...that took a rough turn, yeah? Don't hate me and do leave a review if you please!**


	7. Chapter 7

Emma let out a breath she wasn't aware she had been holding. A shuddering breath, as her hand came up and clenched in the leather material that was bound over her chest. She had expected him to end their tryst the way he always did. With a sharp witted comment and a heated stare, ending eventually when one or the other gave in to their deeper desires. But he had simply walked away. Killian didn't walk away from anything. He wanted her to fester in his bitter words, and he had done a good job at that.

She did trust him. She honestly did, she just couldn't stop the thoughts she had of him using her for revenge from forming. It was a defense mechanism. Something starts to go awry; throw up the walls. Ever since she was given up by the first family that had considered taking her in. She only let them down completely when she had met Neal, and look where that got her. But it had also given her Henry, and she wouldn't give him up for anything.

_Killian isn't Neal_ she reminded herself, shuffling over to the rail beside the wheel and slumping down into a pile on the deck. _What more does he have to do to prove that to you?_ Nothing. At least he shouldn't have to. She knew he was different, she knew her words had hurt him and she wished she could erase them. But it was far too late for that. The darkness in his eyes matched the mood of his former moniker and those were wounds that ran centuries deep.

"What a way to fuck up, Swan," she scoffed pulling up her knees and resting her head in her arms, ignoring the tear that squeezed it's way out of her eye. It wasn't long before The Roger was doing her job again, rocking and lulling the damaged princess into a dreamless sleep. Emma hardly stirred when the light drops of rain began to fall. She simply nudged her head further under the thick leather collar and fell into darkness.

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* * *

.

Killian found comfort in the smooth burn of a bottle of rum. Oh, how he had missed proper rum and he would have been delighted had he found the stash under different circumstances. He drained the tumbler twice before moving on to taking pulls directly from the bottle, muttering curses under his breath.

"Stupid, stubborn Swan. Dealing with Cora was easier than breaking down those bloody walls of hers." He closed his eyes and leaned back in the chair behind his desk, clenching and unclenching his fingers into fists. That woman was so infuriating, yet his love for her only grew with each passing day. Despite the hatred she spat at him. Killian knew it was her walls talking, but damn, did it sting. She'd work it out in that thick head of hers and be back within the hour. He'd still be sour, there wasn't much he could do about that, but he'd always be there to catch her when she fell and his Swan would certainly be taking a tumble soon.

But now it had been nearly two hours and still not even a peep from outside his cabin door. None other than the light rain that had begun to fall. Did she take up sleep in another cabin? Had he been too rash with her? Or was she just being stubborn and waiting for him to come to her? With an irritated huff, Killian stalked out the door and down the steps that led below deck. He checked all the rooms, only to find them empty.

"Well she sure as hell didn't bloody leave," he mumbled, making his way to the main deck. "Emma! Come on out now, Swan!" His heart sped up along with his breathing when he still found her absent. "Now's not the time to play games, lass!"

He turned back to the steps leading up to the helm when he saw the dark shadow heaved against the wheel. The unmistakable leather of his coat flashing in the lightning.

"Shit." Killian darted up the steps and knelt down before her. Head buried in his collar, shielding her from most of the rain, and fast asleep. He gathered his Swan in his arms and she instinctively curled into his chest.

"Killian?" her tired voice called.

"S'all right, love, I've got you."

He managed to get her to stand up long enough to get her out of the coat and strip her down and out of her damp clothes and into one of his old shirts from the wardrobe. Gently, he ushered her down into the bed and pulled the covers up around her.

"Killian," she rasped, grabbing hold his hand before he could turn away to change out of his own clothes. "I'm sorry, I do trust you. I…"

"Shhh," he hushed her, tucking a damp curl behind her ear and dropping a lasting kiss on her forehead. "I know, love. Just needed a push is all. We'll talk in the morning. Sleep."

Killian resumed residence behind his desk and nursed the remainder of the dark bottle in front of him. _It was too far gone, might as well finish it off. _ He had wanted nothing more to crawl in bed beside her and pull her close, but the words were still ringing harsh in his ear.

"_Is that what you were hoping all along, Hook? To waltz right back into my life, win me over and then have me finish out your unresolved revenge?"_

Of course that wasn't what he had been thinking, convenient as it might have been, he truly only was thinking of her safety. And if he had any revenge now it was because he was forced to leave, not the revenge of long ago.

"_You never changed. You just found a new way to finish things out."_

That was the kicker, the real stab in the chest. He was damaged enough as it was and the sharpness of her words only added insult to injury. How could she not see that she was his anchor? The only thing that had kept him from drifting into that dark place that his mind teetered on for so long. Emma Swan had been the star that led him to his ever after, his personal Neverland. And she could be just as ruthless.

Kicking his heels up on the table top he leaned his head back and draped an arm across his eyes, taking slow and steady breaths until he too had fallen victim to sleep.

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* * *

.

The sun streaming through the window stirred Emma from her slumber and she extended an arm out to her side, finding the space next to her empty. She blinked her eyes into focus and sat up to see Killian spread out in his chair, head lulled to the side with his mouth hanging open slightly, chest moving in a steady rise and fall. She frowned at the state of the empty bed; their first full night together and she had went and pushed him away. Emma scoffed. Pushed? It was more like a shove. Just like old times. She stood and grabbed the down blanket from the bed and went to drape it over his body. Killian's eyes snapped open as the fabric made contact with his skin, gasping in a breath and holding eye contact with the woman in front of him.

"Come to warm my cold heart, lass?" Killian challenged with an arched brow.

Emma's gaze fell to the floor. "Killian—"

"Oh, back to that now, are we? Thought you'd forgotten my name in the heat of the battle." He didn't want to keep putting her off, but the words wouldn't stop flowing from his mouth.

"I'm sorry," she whispered, "I do trust you, you know I do!" She was nervously biting on her lower lip and had laid her hand over his arm.

"Do I, now?" Killian cocked a brow, "Because I lack your special skill, Swan, and even being the open book you are, you can be quite skilled at lying."

Emma leaned back on the edge of the desk and let her chin drop to her chest, her head shaking. "I was angry, I thought…I…"

Killian stood, the blanket tumbling to the ground and braced her between his arms. "You thought what, exactly? That your words would fall on deaf ears? That I _enjoyed_ being forced away from you? Tell me, Emma, which is it? I'm dying to know."

"Stop it. Just stop." Emma's pooling green-blue eyes fluttered up to meet his and she pressed gently on his chest. "I don't want to do this with you, Killian, please."

He sighed and pressed his forehead tightly against hers, "Nor I, love. But 'twas a harsh blow you dealt."

"I know, and I know that I can't take it back, but I really am sorry. You know better than anyone how quick I am to throw up a wall."

"Aye, lass, I am. All I'm asking is for you to build them around me not in front of me. I can't do this without you, and that's kind of hard from the other side of a fortress." His tone had calmed now and he even had half a smile on his face as he studied her features.

Killian tentatively stroked her cheek with his fingertips before his hand snaked behind her neck, bringing her head forward and pressing a kiss to the corner of her mouth. "I just want this to be over, Emma. Then perhaps we can enjoy ourselves." He murmured while leaning against her.

"I could use a nice vacation," she laughed lightly.

"There's always Neverland."

The words hung in the air when Emma didn't make any sort of reply afterwards, only tightening her fists in the sides of his button down. Killian leaned back with a partial smile and an arched brow. "Dancing amongst the stars, midnight strolls along the Neverbeach." He was practically pleading with her to return home with him, to his home.

Oh, how he longed to go back, if not only for a short while.

Emma smiled at the boyish grin on his face and gently tipped his face towards her with her hands. "Okay," she whispered with a small nod.

Killian's eyes lit up, the corners of his mouth pulling into a wide grin.

"Honest, love?"

She nodded once more, fingers sifting through his hair. "When things are settled down, and after Henry is done with school. I know time works differently there."

Killian let out a few animated breaths, the smile never leaving his face while his eyes slipped closed and his forehead fell against hers.

"I would very much like to see your home, Killian."

Capturing her lips with his, Killian hummed contently against her mouth. "Thank you," he breathed before kissing her chastely again, "thank you," he repeated following another kiss, "so much, Emma."

Emma giggled when his chaste kisses turned into playful nips and his hands began to wander higher up her thighs. "You can thank me later, Jones. Right now we need to get this baby back home and go talk to Regina."

"Ah, love, the witch can wait." He dragged his lips down her neck and his fingers slid under the band of her panties. "I, however, with that tryst and all, am all out of sorts." His tongue darted out and flicked across her pulse point before gently biting down and Emma took in a sharp breath.

She moved back on the desk and wrapped her fingers around his wrist, painfully removing the hand that was already starting to work wonders on her body. "She can, but I can't. The sooner we get this ball rolling, the better I'll feel."

Killian huffed a breath and both of his eyebrows curved. "Too right, lass." He leaned in and pressed a quick kiss to her hair line. "Let us be on our way then."

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* * *

.

Neither of them pretended that the air wasn't thick with tension as they climbed the walk to the Mayor house. They hadn't even spoken a word to each other in the past half hour. The last time Emma and Killian had confronted Regina things got heated rather quickly. It didn't help that Killian had a quick temper and Regina was just as eager to magically slam him into a wall. At least this time Emma had no problems conjuring up protection spells, and quite strong ones at that. Shame they weren't enough to keep Gold at bay.

"You sure you want to do this, darling?" Killian asked as they approached the door.

"No. But my mind is frazzled and I don't know who else to ask. Who knows more about going up against Gold than Regina?" she sighed.

"Your parents, for one…make that two," he countered with a head cock.

"I don't think the rules of squid ink apply in a world that isn't supposed to have magic. Besides it's all gone." Emma rolled her eyes and pressed the doorbell.

"Just a throwing it out there, love."

Killian rocked back on his heels as Emma pushed the doorbell; her lips in a tight line.

"It'll be all right, lass. She might not be fond of you but you were right when you said she wouldn't want any hurt to come to your lad. And the loss of you would be a great hurt indeed. I know the feeling." He kept his eyes on the door as he spoke; unblinking.

"Killian, don't—"

"Promise me somethiAng, Emma?" he whispered turning his head to look at her, gently pushing the hair from her shoulders. "In those moments, if they should happen, promise me you will do everything in your power to stop him. Everything."

"What moments?" Emma asked, slightly confused.

Killian's eyes fell closed with a deep sigh. "Regardless of what we accomplish today he will try to wound you, be it physically or emotionally." His hand cupped her cheek; his voice pleading and his eyes sullen. "Do not let him, Emma. Give me your word."

Emma covered his hand with her own and nodded, smiling softly. "Okay."

The sound of a throat clearing beside them had Killian dropping his hand and protectively wrapping his arm around Emma's waist, eyes narrowing at the mayor who was now leering in the door way.

"You've been here, what…five days now, Hook?" Regina questioned with an arched brow, "You must be in quite the pickle if you're seeking me out, Ms. Swan."

Emma's body stiffened and Killian's grip immediately tightened around her. "Look, I don't want to be here, but I'm out of options."

"The Crocodile forced me to leave by threating her life if I didn't go and once I was over the line I wasn't able to come back. Magical issues and all."

"Oh, I'm well aware of the predicament you're in Captain," Regina scoffed smugly.

Emma pulled out of his hold and took a step towards her. "How?"

Regina's lips curled over her teeth in a seething smile and she leaned in close to Emma's ear; and in a harsh voice she whispered, "Henry."

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**A/N: I love Henry...just so you know. Fill that hungry box, if you please!**


	8. Chapter 8

_Regina's lips curled over her teeth in a seething smile and she leaned in close to Emma's ear; and in a harsh voice she whispered, "Henry."_

* * *

Something dark washed over Emma; rattling through her bones and snapping her body to attention _Henry. _She had done something with Henry; used him against her when she was at her lowest. With a flick of the wrist she sent Regina flying back into the house, landing her in a chair and sending it slamming against the wall.

"What did you do!" she snarled, stalking into the house.

"Emma, stop!" Killian attempted to go to her but he too was pushed back (albeit more gently) and held firmly in place in the doorway.

Emma's eyes narrowed and Regina's throat visually clenched and she began to struggle for air. "Why!? Why would he tell you and not me!?" Emma seethed, approaching the Mayor with eyes that mirrored an oncoming raging storm. "TELL ME WHY!"

Regina's knuckles were white from gripping the arms of the chair and her eyes were as wide as saucers. Emma may have had control of her magic now but she had never used it against anyone before and clearly the Evil Queen was no match if she could keep this up with little to no effort.

"Emma, love, this needs to stop." Killian pleaded, hands braced against the door frame, leaning in as far as he could. "At least let her speak, princess. Murderous rage, while in my repertoire is most certainly not in yours."

Emma let out a heavy breath and relaxed her shoulders a little as Regina gulped in large amounts of air. "I can see now it's not smart to goad you, Miss Swan," she panted between breaths.

"It'd be wise of you to start talking, Madame Mayor," Emma glared.

"My footing back, if you please, darling?" Killian pitched in from behind them.

Emma groaned and he fell forward with a stumble and a mumble of gratitude. He continued to cross the room until he was between the two women, casting glances between them.

"I must say, Emma, I'm quite impressed," he smirked. "And you, your Majesty, you should really know better than to use a child against his mother." He clicked his tongue against his teeth. "Family bonds, I've come to find, are a powerful thing."

"Which is why _my son_ kept his mouth shut!" Regina snapped.

"Henry is MY SON!" Emma barked, raising a hand, but was stopped when Killian's fingers wrapped around her wrist.

"Sweetheart, you need to get a grip. Hold her there, if you must, but nothing more You may not think it now, but you would regret it."

Emma narrowed her brows at him but nodded none the less. "Get on with it," she said pointedly to Regina.

The Mayor blinked slowly, exchanging looks between the two before her before speaking. "He came to me after you left," she began, nodding at Killian. "He wanted me to know if I could make you happy again," she sneered at Emma. Regina let out a bitter laugh, "Of course I told him nothing could be done, you've been a thorn in my side since you've arrived here, Miss Swan; seeing you hurt was a nice change of scenery."

Killian's fists clenched and he took a step forward and this time it was Emma who stopped him with a touch to his arm.

"I went to Gold shortly after," she continued, "Learned the specifics," Regina shrugged, "and then, I told Henry it'd be best he kept the nature of your dear Captain's departure to himself. Because you see, a pirate has no place in my son's life, least of all you."

"What did you tell him?" Emma asked with quiet reserve.

"The truth. That Hook is nothing but a murderous pirate Captain, who would rather see his revenge sought out then have a happily ever after. To forget him. That perhaps it was for the best he was gone and you'd get over it in time." Regina's lips twitched in a small laugh, "I see I was wrong."

Killian leaned over the chair the Mayor was being held in, his hands squeezing hard around hers, ignoring the grimace of pain in her face. He leaned in close, eyes narrowed and dark with a fury he hadn't felt in a long time.

"You. Will. Help. Us. You see, I'm not leaving now that I'm here, and if that Crocodile were to bring harm to Emma just think of the hurt Henry would go through. Do it for the boy, if nothing else. And if one single strand of hair on her head is harmed by him, you will be begging for my mercy." Killian's tone was dark and low, grumbling through the room with menace. "And you shan't have it."

Regina scoffed, "Using Henry for blackmail and personal threats." Her lips twitched up and her eyes narrowed, "My, my, how much you've changed," she sarcastically drawled.

"Pirate," he replied with a cheeky grin and a wink.

"Please, Regina," Emma approached, kneeling down before the Mayor, "You knew what love was once, maybe you still do, and despite what you want to believe Killian will have always filled part of that void in Henry's life."

Killian laid a hand on her shoulder and squeezed gently.

"I won't stand to see the Crocodile hurt the lad, or Emma. I'd give my own life before that came to be. We're not asking you to ally with us for eternity, only to set our differences aside for a moment to work as one to vanquish a dark force." Killian's dark tone had dissipated into that of a soft plea for the safety of his loved ones.

Emma's hand came up and encased his, using it as leverage to pull her to her feet before she entwined their fingers and stood firmly by his side. Their eyes met and they shared a soft smile, losing themselves in a combination of unblinking green and blue. His callused thumb stroked the back of her hand in a reassuring manner, a small gesture, but it soothed Emma nonetheless. He had that power over her; to be able to calm her with the smallest ministrations. Killian's tongue darted out and his lips parted in an attempt to speak, but he remained silent. His oceanic eyes trying to convey to her that things would work in their favor. Emma slowly blinked and the corner of her mouth slowly turned up in a smile that didn't reach her eyes.

"I'm assuming you want to keep him alive?" Regina's voice broke in.

"That would be correct," Killian replied without pause, his eyes never leaving Emma's.

"And if I refuse?" the Mayor challenged.

Killian squeezed Emma's hand and turned from her gaze. "I will find a way. Of that I promise you."

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* * *

.

They all remained in reserved silence, Regina propped at the hip against her office desk, Killian pacing the room and Emma stood staring out the window.

"I don't know what you expect me to do. It's not like you have many options." Regina was the first to break, sauntering over and fixing herself a drink. "There's always the dagger route. If you can find it."

"No."

"No."

Emma and Killian chorused together.

"You could just control him with it you know, the murdering and becoming the dark one is optional." Regina shot a pointed look at Emma, "as tempting as it may sound."

"Running my hook through you sounds tempting as well. Luckily for you that's no longer an option." Killian crossed the room and bent his head down, "Another way, if you please," he whispered harshly. "Savvy?"

"Killian…" Emma's voice beckoned in a warning tone. He strode over to her, setting his hands on her shoulders and his lips ghosting over the back of her head. "She did agree to help, stop antagonizing."

"Amusing sentiments, Miss Swan, considering you were choking the life out of me not long ago; while I was being forcefully restrained to a chair," Regina scoffed.

"Get on with it. I might have reacted rashly earlier, but don't think using it against me will get any sort of guilt out of me," Emma snapped, her head whipping around to glare at the woman, her body growing tense and her hands clenching into fists.

"Easy, love," Killian whispered by her side, hand stroking down her back.

* * *

They searched through every spell and magic book Regina possessed, looking for anything that might be able to help them without causing death to either of the parties involved. Magic always came with a price, and life, so it seems, was a popular payment. There were all kinds of other spells, of course. Paralysis, the memory thing, they could always send him back to fairytale land…but honestly, in time he would only find his way back.

"It doesn't matter," Emma let out an exasperated sigh, running a hand through her hair. "No matter what we do he will still be 'the dark one'," she indicated with air quotes and an eye roll, "and he will still have all this magic and power and the need to prove it."

"From what I've seen Miss Swan, your magic just might over power his," Regina muttered from deep within the pages of a weathered leather bound book.

Emma scoffed, "Well I can't be there twenty four seven to make sure my family is safe, now can I?" She gave a pained look toward Killian whose lips turned up in a soft smile.

He relished in the fact that, yes, he was indeed part of that statement. "He made you a promise not to hurt me, love."

"That was before we crossed him. _Nobody_ crosses Gold and expects him to keep his word." Emma slumped down in a nearby chair and hung her head in her hands. "There's nothing we can do," her muffled voice choked, shoulders shaking in a silent sob.

Killian dropped to a knee in front of her and his hands encircled her wrists. "Em, look at me." Her eyes were dull and defeated, but the traces of tears had already been wiped away.

She would not let Regina see her break. That would be the day hell froze over.

"I can't do it, Killian," she stressed in a hushed voice. "I can't kill him. Even after what he's done, I just can't find it in myself."

Killian shook his head slowly, his thumbs rubbing circles into her wrists. "Nobody's asking you to, sweetheart. S'all right."

She leaned forward and pressed her forehead against his. "But what if we can't find another way?"

"I'll fight for you, and for Henry, for a chance at life anew. Rest assured, love…"

"She doesn't have to kill him, nobody does," Regina's voice cut through the air sharply. Her chair scrapped across the tile as she pushed it away from the table and stood to cross over to them; book in hand.

"Really, now? " Killian inquired with an arched brow. "Do tell."

Emma, still haven't saying a word now had her hands gripped knuckle white on her knees.

"She'd only have to find some way to get him to ingest a simple potion," Regina shrugged with a sly smile.

"If it took you this long to find it, it is anything but simple," Killian mused through narrowed eyes.

"Oh, the potion is simple enough, dear Captain. It's the ingredients that are hard to come by. But you should have no problem with that."

"What does it do?" Emma finally spoke.

"Strips him of his power, turns him into the mere old man he once was."

"Only the dagger can do that," Killian eyed her wearily. "The only way to take away the dark one's power is to kill him with the dagger that gave it to him."

"The only way from our land yes," Regina agreed with a curt nod. She placed the book down on the end table behind Killian and tapped the page with a manicured nail. "But as we well know there are so many realms out there…and some of them full of _so many_ magical elements."

Killian scanned the page while Emma read over his shoulder, his body tensing under her touch as his eyes reached the bottom of the page.

"Pixie dust, for example," Regina smirked, watching as the pirate's breath visibly hitched.

"No. Out of the question." He snapped the book closed and handed it to her forcefully. "Find another."

"There is no other." Regina said shaking her head smugly.

"I don't understand." Emma's brow furrowed. "Can't we have the dwarves try mining for fairy dust? Surely there's been enough time for it to build up down there."

Killian turned to her with a reserved sigh, shaking his head. "No, lass, not fairy dust. Pixie dust. From the _delightful_ pixies of Pixie Hollow."

"Pixie Hollow? But that means…"

"Neverland," Regina sneered as Killian rubbed his temples.

"You said you wanted to go back," Emma shrugged, offering him a weak smile.

Killian braced her arms and brought his face close to hers, "Not like this!" he hissed. "The time alone, Emma, it's too risky. We could be there for days, weeks, hell it could be bloody years before we got back!"

"Killian—"

"Dammit, Swan! You forget yourself. When you're not fighting to stay alive, you get lost in its beauty by day and seduced by the stars by night. A month comes and goes within the span of a blink. She wants you to leave, can't you see that?"

Emma frowned at the worried lines creased on Killian's face, running her fingers along his jaw line. His wide blue eyes focused on hers, silently begging her to understand. But if this was their only other option she was damned to let it go without trying.

"Will he be able to find us?" Emma asked, turning to Regina.

"It's Gold. He'd be able to find anyone, anywhere. And I'll tell you this Miss Swan, if he so decided to follow after you, he wouldn't be happy."

"Killian," she placed a hand on his shoulder, which was now faced away from her, and his head was downcast. They finally had a way for them to stay together and he was the one to back down because of time and unspoken dangers. She needed him with her on this, she needed him for everything. _He was her everything. _

"Killian, we have a little over a week before they get back," she coaxed. "We can do this, I know we can."

He sighed, shoulders slumping under her hand.

"Please, Killian. I need you," she pleaded softly. His hand came up and grasped hers as he turned to face her.

"As do I, love." The corner of his mouth quirked up into a crooked grin and he moved her hand to his mouth, brushing his lips across the back of her knuckles, letting his touch linger with a warm breath.

"Looks like you'll be getting that Neverland vacation a little sooner than expected."

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* * *

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**A/N: We're going to Neverland bitches! I see the wonderful new followers I get when I post a new chapter...don't be shy. Say hello. Happy? Not Happy? Let me know in that little box below. Savvy?**


	9. Chapter 9

Emma pulled the bug up outside Granny's and put the car into park. Killian had been exceptionally quiet since the revelation that they would have to go to Neverland; Killian was never quiet. Emma tightened her hands around the steering wheel, the material crunching beneath her grip in the stillness.

"Go get your things," she demanded in a soft voice.

Killian glanced over to her, blue eyes blinking and his tongue darting out to wet his pursed lips. "I'm paid up through the end of my stay."

Emma felt a rip sear through her chest at his words. Did he not want to come back with her? Would he rather stay at the Inn than sleep in their bed for what might be the last time in a long while? Surely not after he had practically begged her to stay the first night he came to her. So why the backtracking now?

"Your parents are there, are they not?" he asked with a raised brow, seeing through her thoughts.

There it was. He was worried about Mary Margaret and David. Relieved, but only slightly, she nodded. He was supposed to be the most feared pirate Captain of the seas and here he was afraid of her parents. Still such a lost boy after all.

"I hardly think my presence would be a welcome one, love," he admitted with a sad smile. After a soft kiss to her cheek, his hand reached for the door handle, "Goodnight, my dear Emma."

Emma's fingers lingered on her cheek, still warm from the pressure of his lips as she watched him slip behind the building's doors. She admired the fact that he didn't want to piss off dear old dad any more than he probably was, her mother tended to be a little more understanding on the matter. But damn, she wasn't a child, far from it. Her life, her decisions; and she wanted to bring him back home where he belonged. Judging parental stares be damned.

She marched up the stairs and didn't even bother knocking before barging into his room. Killian was seated on the bed, glass tumbler in one hand, and his head in the other.

His head lifted at her arrival, brow furrowed in confusion. "Emma? What—"

"Pack. Your. Shit. You stupid, stubborn, pirate."

Both his eyebrows lifted at her crass tone and hard gaze.

"It's about time you came home, Killian. Tomorrow we'll be off chasing pixies in a land I'm not familiar with and before that happens I just want a night back with you, in our bed."

"Home?" he murmured quietly.

"Yes." She stepped further into the room, taking the glass from his hand and kneeling in front of him, her hands running up the sides of his face. "Home," she whispered with finality and the ghost of a smile on her face.

Her smile widened at the flash of his teeth above her. "Well then, Swan, I best get my things." He leaned forward, pressing a swift kiss to her lips before standing from the bed and retrieving the duffle from the closet and stuffing the remainder of his clothes inside.

"What shall I tell the wolf girl?"

"Ruby?" Emma bit back a chuckle and rolled her eyes, "Seriously, Killian, please tell me you don't call her that to her face."

"Oh, come now, love, it's a term of endearment, really." He grinned. "She is rather…" he paused at the glowering look Emma was shooting him, "…wolfish," he completed under his breath. "Right, should we go then?"

Emma stepped aside and swept her arm towards the door. "After you, Jones," she said coolly.

"Green really isn't your color, sweetheart." Coming up behind her, he swept the hair from her shoulder and pressed a kiss to her neck, nuzzling her softly. "Besides," he muttered huskily, "I'm far more partial to swans and princesses, and I have the best of both."

Emma reached back and entangled her fingers in his hair, eliciting a soft groan that vibrated against her skin. His hands settled at her hips and she leaned back against him with a soft sigh.

"As content as I am, Emma, we should really get going." His lips brushed her temple and his hand sought out hers, his left hand.

Emma quirked an eyebrow at him at the gesture.

"Indulge me, lass," he smirked, "Yours is the one I wish for this hand to hold, as well as the last."

With her bottom lip between her teeth she gave him a nod and squeezed his hand gently, pulling him out the room and down the stairs to the car.

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* * *

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If eating diner was going to be as awkward as this, Emma hated to think how holidays were going to be around the Charming family household. They ate their food in complete and utter silence, exchanging casual glances and polite nods when eye contact was met. Killian did his best to keep a cool and collective manner about him, but Emma couldn't help but notice how he fumbled with his silverware, his grip around the pieces more than tight enough and his grumbled frustrations muffled under his breath. She laid her hand across his forearm and all his movement came to a standstill, the bright blue of his eyes meeting the sea green of hers. She gave him a reassuring smile and a soft squeeze, her hand traveling half way up to his shoulder in a gentle rub before she continued on with her own meal.

Her parents watched on in wonderment. David, still annoyed that she would let him back into her life so quickly and Mary Margaret with an all knowing smile. A pirate might not have been the first choice she had in mind for her daughter, but he had the ability to make her happy, to make her smile and she missed seeing Emma smile. So if a dreaded pirate Captain happened to be her happily ever after; then so be it.

Things only grew tenser in the house after dinner. They had yet to bring up the subject of Neverland and knew the news would not be taken lightly. Emma sat with her mother at the kitchen island sipping cocoa while David attempted to converse with Killian over some sort of T.V. show. Emma chuckled softly and shook her head. Even years back Killian couldn't grasp the concept of television. The sea was plenty enough entertaining for him. He always gave in when it came to Henry though; on more than one occasion Emma came home to find the pair asleep on the couch. Henry nestled into Killian's side, always the same movie playing in the background.

"_A disgrace is what it is, Swan," Killian huffed with an eye roll after tucking the poor kid into bed. "To think that's what people actually think of me."_

"_It's a movie, Killian," she laughed, "A children's movie, let it rest." She pulled on a pair of shorts and climbed under the covers._

"_Oh, no, lass, there's a book as well. I've been well informed of all the drivel you people keep of me," he grumbled, undoing the buttons of his shirt with his hand and shrugging it off his shoulders. "Bloody rubbish, the lot of it."_

_Emma crawled over to the edge of the bed and took his hook in her hand, turning it over and running her fingers over its curve. _

"_How about you tell me how it really was then, my dear, sweet, Captain?" Her hands slid up the apparatus that held the hook in place on his arm and began to work at the buckles. A gesture she had come to enjoy over their time together. Especially when done in tender moments._

_Killian's eyes met hers in a look of longing and a small amount of sorrow. "A sweet man, I am not, Emma," he murmured almost regretfully._

_She placed the device on the night stand and linked her hands behind his neck, pulling him down until their foreheads met. "You have such a capacity for love, Killian. And underneath all that self-depravity is indeed a wonderful man." She softly pressed her lips to his and he wrapped his arms around her back. "You're not all innuendos and an overly large ego; you have quiet moments when you think nobody is watching. It's those moments I love the most, the man behind the pirate."_

_Killian's eyes fell closed and his head landed on his shoulder in a sigh. "You deserve much more than me, Emma."_

_Emma pressed a kiss to his hair, "I chose you, just as you chose me. And hell if that shock wave when you first kissed me wasn't enough I don't know what is."_

"_Perhaps I'm just that good of a kisser," he chuckled against her skin._

"_You wish, buddy," she grinned, squeezing her arms around him and pulling him down onto the bed, glad that he was coming back into his playful self._

"_Oh, you wound me, Swan!" Killian rolled onto his back and put his hand over his chest, feigning a painful look on his face. _

"_Only your pride, Jones," she whispered with a swift kiss to his scruffy cheek, "And as big as that is, it could use a few good nicks." Removing his hand from his chest and situating herself close to his body. He rolled on his side, keeping her enveloped in his arms and pressed a kiss to the back of her head._

"…Emma, Emma are you okay?" Mary Margaret's hand reached over the bar and covered hers breaking the memory with a jolt. Emma glanced over to see Killian watching her with slight worry in his eyes. Her eyes slowly closed and a smirk grew on her face, her teeth drawing in her lower lip. Her eyes reopened to and found Killian's again still watching her but now with a wary grin.

She drained the rest of her cocoa and blew out a sigh, turning her attention to her mother.

"We're going to Neverland."

"Emma!"

"What on earth for?!"

"Shit."

Mary Margaret's cup fell from her hand and landed on the countertop with a clatter, David's eyes were narrowed in on Killian and his facial features were less than forgiving, and her dear Captain had his head in the palm of his hand.

"Well, is someone going to answer me or not!" David shoved off the couch in a huff and marched over to his wife and now the daggers in his eyes were being directed at Emma.

Killian came to stand by her side, his hand resting at the small of her back, "Listen, mate…"

"Oh, don't you listen, mate, me, Hook! Haven't you done enough?!" the prince growled.

"David!" Mary Margaret chirped, "Hoo_-Killian_, is part of this family, with or without your approval. Stop berating him."

"Thank you, milady," Killian nodded with gratitude.

"I wouldn't be so thankful just yet. You still haven't told us why the two of you are leaving when you have a situation here to take care of."

Emma sighed, her hand tugging at her hair. "We went to Regina."

"You what?" Mary Margaret gasped.

"Are you going to let me finish or not?" Emma snapped.

Her mother pursed her lips and nodded.

"Right. The short version, there is a potion that can strip Gold of his magic; the key ingredient just so happens to be in Neverland. So…" Emma shrugged and tossed up her hands in defeat, "there you go. Neverland it is."

"We're coming with you." David's stoic voice commanded from his stance behind his wife.

"I'd have to disagree, Charming." Killian coolly replied.

David stepped around Mary Margaret and placed his hands on the countertop, leveling his eyes with the pirate on the other side. "She's my daughter, Hook, and I'll be damned if I'm letting her go again."

Killian's fingers clenched on Emma's back and she placed a warm hand over his arm to calm him. He closed his eyes and let out a slow breath before opening them again, meeting the prince's stare. "That may be, and if I could convince her to stay behind without putting up a fuss I would. Fact of the matter is we work as a team, your daughter and I, a pretty damn good one at that." His eyes turned to Snow, blue eyes softening and his hands grasped hers in a pleading manner. "And I give you my word; I will look after her with my life. Always."

Mary Margaret nodded, tears pricking her eyes as she cast a look to Emma and sucked her lips into a tight line. "I know," she whispered with a flicker of a smile.

Killian released her hands with an acknowledging bow of his head and turned to face his Swan, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear and letting his thumb trail down the length of her cheek. "I think I'll be turning in now." He leaned in and pressed a slow kiss to her temple, his hand sliding down the back of her head and resting on her neck. His lips lingered in her hair, exhaling a warm breath in the equivalent of a heavy sigh.

Emma's hand found his under the island and she curled her fingers around his. "You okay?" she asked him in a whisper. She felt his head nod against hers before his mouth brushed against her again.

"Goodnight, love. See you in a bit, yeah?" His mouth curved up into a lopsided grin that hardly sparked in his eyes.

"Yeah." Emma nodded, "Be up in a minute."

Killian stepped away from her and gave a small bow to her parents. "Charming. My dear, Snow, I wish you a pleasant evening. We'll be leaving in the morning…I'll do my best to keep our trip as short as possible."

"Goodnight, Killian," Mary Margaret replied warmly with a soft smile. "And good luck."

"Bring her back in one piece," David stepped forward and offered out his hand to shake, which Killian took hesitantly. "And yourself as well."

Emma breathed a sigh of relief; at least her father was attempting to get along with him. It had been hard enough the first time around, they had just gotten the hang of casual conversation and even dared to exchange a few laughs when he was ripped away from her. Seems they were far off from that now.

"I'm just worried about you, you know that, right?" David's voice broke through her thoughts, his hand coming down on her shoulder and a concerned look etched onto his face.

"I know," she reassured him with a smile. She stood and tentatively wrapped her arms around his middle. They had shared few father-daughter hugs in their time together. Family hugs, sure, but not many intimate moments like this one, and although she wouldn't admit it, she did enjoy them more than she let on. His grip was tight around her shoulders and she pressed her cheek into his chest, smiling against him when he gave her a final squeeze and a parental peck on the forehead before releasing her. She might have grown up without knowing the love of a mother and father, but she had it now, and that was what mattered.

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Killian was still awake when she made her way up the steps to her room, sprawled out on the bed with his hands interlocked behind his head. Emma took the liberty of slipping into one of his t-shirts before sitting on the bed beside him and he still had yet to acknowledge she was there.

"All right, Jones, what gives?"

"Hmm?" he grunted, eyes finally flickering over to her.

"You've been awfully quiet all night, Killian. What's wrong?" She shifted closer to him, lying down on her side and tucking her arm under a pillow.

"Nothing, lass, thinking is all."

"About?"

He pinched the bridge of his nose and let his arm fall across his eyes, saying nothing. Emma was used to herself throwing up walls, hell they both did, but it had been some time since she had seen him so shut up and unwilling to tell her what was on his mind.

"Emma, love, stop fussing and go to sleep. We have a tiring journey ahead of us," he finally muttered.

Killian had always talked of whisking her away to Neverland, and now they were going he was less than pleased. Emma couldn't shake that it had more to do than the circumstances that their trip entailed. She'd asked him numerous times about his time there, and come to think of it he always skated around giving her any direct answers. Nothing ever personal came out, always about how its beauty masked the dangers that lied there.

"Killian—" she beckoned softly, her fingers sifting through his dark hair, "Killian talk to me."

He turned on his side, eyes glistening with unshed tears as he stared at her across the small space between them.

"Hey," she cooed, her hands cupping his cheeks and pressing her lips to his forehead, "Hey, it's okay, we're okay"

His arms latched quickly around her back and he pulled her tight against him, sinking his head into her neck with a muffled sob. She'd been on the opposite end of this a few times with him, but never this. No. She had never once seen him break down like this.

"I couldn't save her, Emma," his muffled voice choked out. "What if I can't save you either."

Milah. This was grief and guilt that was tied to MIlah. Another subject they had treaded lightly around. She knew what had happened, and while she didn't agree with the woman's choice to leave her family she certainly didn't deserve such a horrid fate. But he had loved her, none the less, maybe she wasn't his true love, but he did love her. And that was a rare thing to come by in his line of work.

He blamed himself, and now he was scared the same fate was going to befall her and yet again it would be his fault. He would lose another woman he loved at hand of that unruly Crocodile.

"That _was not_ your fault, Killian." Emma assured him, her hands running through his hair as he clung to her. "It wasn't your fault," she repeated in a whisper, kissing his hair.

"I meant it, you know, I'd die fighting for you. I'm no match for him, but I'd try, if it meant you'd get the chance to live."

"I know." Emma tilted his head up to face her, wiping his tears away with her thumbs and pressing a chaste kiss to his lips. "But I don't want that."

Killian's eyebrows furrowed in confusion and Emma couldn't stop a soft laugh from escaping her lips.

"As noble as it is, my sweet Captain, I'd rather you alive, here, with me."

He touched his forehead to hers, sniffing what was left of his tears away, "Gods, I love you, Emma."

"I love you too, Killian."

She molded herself to his chest whilst he nuzzled his face in her golden hair, pulling her closer to his body as they settled in for the night.

"Tell me we're going to be okay, Killian. I know this Neverland thing is worrying you more than you let on."

Killian's breath was warm against her when he let out a long sigh, his fingers stroking her arm absentmindedly. "It's sooner than I would have liked, darling, yes, and the circumstances…well…they aren't fit either."

She turned in his arms and sought out his eyes, still bright despite the darkness of the room and still tinged with worry.

"It's been a long time, love, that's all." He dipped his head and gave her a soft peck on the lips. "Now sleep, Em, you'll need do with all the rest you can get."

There was something lingering behind his blue gaze, not quite a lie, but not the whole truth either. Something he wasn't ready to share with her just yet. No matter, they would be in the place he had called home for centuries come tomorrow; and although they were going for a specific reason Emma couldn't help but smile at the thought that they just might get that chance to dance amongst the stars after all.

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**A/N:Sorry, I needed a bit of a emotional Killian fix before Neverland. Don't mind me. Plus I love Daddy!Charming. Reviews would be lovely, especially from all you new folks.**

**Shelly.**


	10. Chapter 10

As tired as she was, Emma was amused to see how bright eyed Killian was in the early morning hours. He had woken her that morning with a rough undoing of her covers, tugging them off her in a single pull.

"Precious time is wasting, Princess!" he called cheerily, vanishing out the room and disappearing down the stairs. She wanted to be mad at him, she honestly did, but it was hard when beside her on the night stand was a fresh cup of coffee and a few pieces of toast. She chuckled to herself, picking up the mug and taking a waking sip.

"Ah, she wakes!" Killian grinned, sauntering in the room, his hair still damp from his shower and falling over his forehead in a fringe.

"How long have you been up?" she muttered over her cup.

"Hour, two at best. The sea calls, my love, and I woke with a burning need to answer." He pulled a t-shirt over his head and flopped down on the bed beside her.

"Pirate," Emma laughed lightly, adding an eye roll for good measure.

"Aye," Killian took the mug from her hand, setting it back on the end table and rolled over her, bracing himself with his arms, "but I'm your pirate." He drew her lips in, nipping slightly at her bottom lip until she allowed him to sweep his tongue in over hers. He tasted faintly of orange juice and she hummed contently into his mouth, allowing her fingers to play with the hem of his shirt.

"What happened to the brooding bedmate I had in my company last night?"

"I'm tired of focusing on the past, Emma." He lightly kissed her again, "I won't lie to you, this won't be easy for me at times, but I'm glad I'm going with you."

"Care to elaborate on that a little." Emma nudged him with her nose, attempting to draw him out a little bit more.

"All in good time, lass, all in good time."

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The Jolly Roger knew she was in for a grand adventure the minute her Captain stepped on board. The wind picked up around them, sending the standing seagulls on the sails flying away in a flurry and the ropes fell at his hands, as if they were begging for attention.

Killian chuckled. "It appears I'm not the only one that's missed the open water."

Emma helped him hoist the sails and with each one an invisible wind would billow them to their fullest with a loud pop. They secured the lines, casting grins at each other from across the deck. They had been on a few short trips out of the harbor, but not far, she had yet to see him in his element, and if prepping the ship was bringing back this much life into him she couldn't wait to get him back out on the ocean.

"We'll go out a ways, far enough so where nobody will take notice before we use the bean to form a portal. Shortly past mid-day, we should be looking on the shores of the Neverbeach."

"We ready to set sail, then, Captain Jones?"

"Aye, lass. Prepare to weigh anchor, Swan, and set your sights on the second to the right!"

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They had been sailing for a few hours, Emma spending most of her time at the bow with the wind in her hair and Killian at the helm. He'd call on her to adjust a few things here and there, but the ship took care of most of his bidding. She knew what her Captain needed, often before he asked of it.

Emma heard his footsteps behind her, followed shortly by the clearing of his throat and a smirk wormed its way onto her face.

"Resting on the job, Swan? I don't take kindly to freeloaders on my ship, let alone as part of my crew," he drawled.

"Oh, my dear Captain, whatever are you going to do-" she turned to see him standing closer than she expected, dressed to the hilt in his old pirate garb. The pants, the jacket, sword at his side swallowed by a thick belt around his middle and topped off with a red velvet vest. Red, not black. "-with me?" Emma's last words came out in a hushed breath, her eyes scanning his form with leisure. He looked well enough in his modern day clothes, but she couldn't argue that the man was a pirate for a reason. Her hand came up and stroked the plush fabric of his vest, tracing the deep V that mirrored the black shirt beneath.

"I've never seen you in anything but black," she murmured, her eyes flicking up to meet his.

Killian's hands found solace on her waist and he pressed their bodies together, causing a light sway between them. "That's not true, love, just yesterday I was wearing blue."

Emma chuckled, "You know what I mean."

The corner of his mouth lifted into a smile, the tiniest bit of teeth showing in his grin. "Aye, that I do." Killian stole a slow kiss, his fingers stroking her cheek as his lips melded with hers.

"I was a man in mourning, Emma. Lost in a dark place, wandering, searching for a relief that I thought could only come through form of revenge. I was broken for so long. But then you found me and I saw so much of myself in you and for the first time in a long time I wanted to forgo the moniker and just be Killian Jones once more." He nuzzled his cheek against hers and held her close. Her arms went around his back and she pressed her ear to his chest, the steady beating of his heart reverberating around her.

I'm sorry I didn't trust you sooner," Emma whispered, snuggling in deeper and inhaling in the refreshing scent of leather, rum and sea. The pure essence of Killian.

"No you're not, lass." She felt his chuckle bounce around her. "And neither am I. If you had I'm sure things would have turned out much differently. I'm quite sure we wouldn't have ended up where we are now, and I wouldn't give us up for anything. "

Killian's lips brushed her hair and he shifted her to his side, tucking her under a single arm and wiggling a hand into his pocket.

"I suggest you hold on tight now, love." He tossed the bean into the water with a flick of his wrist and a whirlpool opened up in front of them, a swirling vortex of sparkling blue sea water tinted with shades of green.

"Killian…" Emma's grip tightened around his waist and her eyes grew wide as she eyed the swirling water they were approaching.

Killian eyed the portal with determination, eyebrow arched and a full toothed grin plastered on his face.

"There's bumpy seas ahead."

Killian grasped her hand and pulled her behind him as he raced up the steps to the helm, bracing her between his arms while he took hold the wheel and gave it a hearty spin before holding its position.

"You can either wait in the cabin or stay here with me, darling, but make your decision with haste," he leaned over her shoulder and called into her ear over the roar of the sea. He had noted the worry in her eyes and thought perhaps if she didn't have to watch the ship go down a seemingly endless pit it might make her feel better, if only slightly.

Emma shuffled and managed to turn herself around, her fingers curling around the now dampened edges of his coat to keep her balance as she peered up at him.

"I'm not leaving you," she replied with a stubborn shake of her head.

Killian nodded and refocused his attention on the portal in front of them, the ship giving a slight jolt when they neared the edge and Emma's grip went from his coat to around his waist, burying her head into his chest.

The Jolly Roger dipped into the whirlpool and began its decent, a few of the nearby ropes in the rigging untwined and snapped and sails now flapped freely above them, yet Killian held his steadfast position at the wheel. Crashing waves washed over the deck and flowed off the other side, thunder sounded all around them; it's accompanying lightening lighting up the pool from the inside of its walls, leaving the sky above them clear as a bright spring day. The water whipped around them, stinging their faces like sharp needles as they twirled down and around towards god only knows what. She glanced up at his face, his dark hair wet and windblown with a slightly manic wide smile firmly set in. Emma squeezed her eyes shut and held on to her Captain's middle as if her were her own personal life raft. At this point, it was exactly what he was.

It was over in an instant, as if they popped out of a bubble and were floating on air, everything quiet and calm except for a warm kiss of a summers breeze. She felt Killian release the wheel and his hands settled around her shoulders, dropping a kiss to the top of her damp tendrils with a warm breath.

"Emma, sweetheart, open your eyes." He gently turned her, his hands untangling her arms from his waist and intertwining their fingers as he led her to the edge of the ships railing.

* * *

Emma swallowed the nervous lump in her throat, slowly letting her eyes adjust to the light around her. She gasped and all but threw herself back against him gripping his arm with all her might. Turns out they _were floating on air_ after all. She tightened her grip around his hand and let one hand rest on the rail as she peered over the side. Cerulean blue waters for as far as they eye could see below them, littered with lush green islands and swaying trees. Cliffs mingled along the sides of beaches in a deadly beauty and they simply sailed right over them.

"She can fly?" Emma uttered in a hushed whisper.

Killian's face staggered as if he had just taken a harsh insult. He took a step backward and spread his arms wide. "Of course she can bloody well fly!"

Emma raced down to the main deck and up to the bow, stepping up on a crate to get herself on top of the rail. She tangled her legs in the nearby rigging and leaned over the ledge, one hand holding on to the ropes and one hand gliding through the air.

"Gods, Emma!" Killian scolded, jumping down the steps to the deck to pull her on board, but he stopped when she swung herself back over and saw the look on her face. A smile to end all smiles and it about stopped his heart from beating in his chest. He knew this would happen. That she would get swept away by the wonder as soon as she set eyes on it, just as he had. That she would quickly forget all her troubles and just live in the moment. It shouldn't have made him as happy as it did, but he selfishly relished a small bit in that moment.

She ran to him, jumping into his arms and locking her hands behind his neck. He caught her with little to no effort and lightly twirled her, securing his arms under her bottom while she wrapped her legs around his waist.

"We're flying," she grinned pressing her forehead to his.

"Aye."

"In Neverland."

"Aye."

She let out an exasperated laugh and cradled his face in her hands, drawing his lips to hers. She smiled against his mouth laughing when they parted and claimed him again and again between small giggles. "Are you the Peter to my Wendy, Killian?" she whispered with a smile, nipping his bottom lip before kissing the love bite away. His face darkened, a frown playing on his lips and he gently lowered her to the floor boards.

Killian brushed a curl from her face, his eyes tinted with despair. "No, love. I wouldn't have been able to let you leave." His lip quirked up in a sad half smile before he gently pressed a kiss to her temple and tucked her under his chin. "Why are we here, Emma?" He asked after a few quiet moments, wanting to make sure she hadn't been completely lost to the tricks of the land.

"Pixie dust." She pulled back, confusion wrinkling on her brow. "You know that."

"I told you, love, you forget yourself here." He sighed and ran the back of his hand down her cheek. "Remind yourself as often as possible. Do. _Not_. Forget."

"You were here for centuries, Killian, you still knew what you were after," she challenged.

"Aye, I was also fueled by hate, you, darling, are the epitome of true love. This place will eat you alive if you let it."

Emma cocked her head to the side and laid her hands on the lapels of his coat, tugging down slightly. "Impossible for me to forget, when the thing I'm here fighting for is right by my side."

His hands came up and encircled her wrists and he dipped his head down and pressed a kiss to her knuckles. If it were only that easy; once Neverland had its claws in your back she didn't let go easily. He knew that better than most and yet he loved it so. It could be a wondrous place if you had arrived there with no plans, just fun and fancy free living, lost in the days of youth. But now he would have to watch her struggle to retain what mattered most to her while the ghost of his past watched on with sinister intentions.

"Come, love." He lowered her hands and steered them towards his quarters, "We'll be landing soon, we should get you into some proper attire."

Killian Jones had returned home, his lass by his side and a warmth in his heart. He only hoped he wouldn't regret it.

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**A/N: Questions, comments, concerns? Reviews? I like those last ones the best ;) Just a heads up...We will be making a ratings jump with Ch 11. Blame Killian.**


	11. Chapter 11

**A/N: Warning, there be smut ahead. And mostly smut...so you can skip if that's not your deal.**

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Killian paced the deck waiting for Emma to emerge from his cabin after showing her the wardrobe. He had kept hold of Milah's belongings, not having the heart to part with them, and while it strained him to offer them to her he couldn't bloody well let her go gallivanting around Neverland dressed as she was.

"_Anything towards the back should do well on you," he grumbled, pushing his own garments aside._

_Emma stiffened, she knew well enough that she was staring down half a closet full of women's clothes and she had no doubt who they had previously belonged to. Her eyes wandered up to his face, his gaze was fixated off to the side, occasionally flickering to the memories that were left hanging in front of him. She knew a part of him would always cherish her, how could he not. Their love was roughly ripped apart and that left a mighty big scar behind._

_Emma laid a hand on his arm. "Killian…you don't have to do this, I'll be fine wi—"_

"_Just get dressed, Swan," he replied evenly turning to the cabin doors, allowing her hand to fall away from him. He stilled, his back still towards her but his head slightly angled her way. "Forgive me, Emma. I don't mean to be so rash, it's just…" he stopped, running a hand through his hand with a sigh, "Right, I'll leave you to it then." _

"_I know, Killian," she whispered to herself with a sad smile after he had left, running her hands along the supple leather, carefully eying her choices._

The sound of the hinges creaking on wood subdued his stepping and he slowly turned to face the door to his quarters. Killian's breath hitched, he knew that she would make one hell of a pirate and if the way she looked now wasn't telling enough, nothing ever would be. A coat similar to his billowed out behind her, draped over a black and red embroidered leather vest over a black shirt and fitting leather pants. It was only after she spoke that he realized that he had been staring for quite some time; silently.

"Say something," she commanded softly, boots echoing on the wood grain as she crossed over to him. "Killian, please—"

Emma was cut off by an oncoming assault of his lips on hers, his hands tangling in her golden waves. He backed her into the door to his quarters, his teeth scraping her bottom lip before his tongue delved into her mouth and she moaned into him, fisting a hand in his hair.

"Oh, Emma," he growled against her skin, sucking and nipping down her neckline, tracing the bruising with his tongue.

"I take it you approve," she gasped when his hand quickly undid the first buckle on her vest and snagged its way inside her shirt, brushing over her breast.

"Gods, yes." His other hand came up between them, undoing the rest of the clasps while his other hand continued to tease and his mouth played sweet kisses on her ear. Emma's head lulled back and hit the door with a soft thud and she could literally feel the smirk form on his face.

* * *

Well, two could play at that game. Emma gently pushed his coat from his shoulders, slowly sliding it down his arms, holding them behind his back as she took advantage of his mouth. She moved on to his scabbard and belt, slipping the leather band through the notches with a wry smile on her face while he watched her intently. She tugged her into him with it once it hung freely on his hips, pressing herself into his body. He groaned and his hands tightened on her waist. Her fingers flitted down his chest, quickly undoing the buckles and buttons that enclosed his wondrous body. She allowed her hands to roam his skin, tracing the scars from many years of fighting out on the open sea. Emma leaned in and pressed a kiss to his chest, her hand traveling down and expertly undoing the laces at the top of his pants and sliding her hand inside to grasp his length.

Killian shuddered, his head falling against her shoulder and his arm shooting out to get some sort of hold on the wood behind her so he wouldn't lose his footing as she slowly began a steady rhythm.

"Gods, Emma," he rasped, moaning into her neck when she twisted slightly on the upstroke.

She raked her fingers against his scalp and quickened her pace, flicking her tongue against his ear. "Tell me what you want, Killian," she whispered huskily. "Would you have me finish you off, or would you take me, right here, on deck."

Killian's breath shuddered against her neck, his breath coming out in pants, not able to find the words to answer her.

With a few final strokes Emma released him, the leather now hanging loosely on his hips. Her hand lightly tugged the back of his hair and forced him to look at her, still panting, and his blue eyes heavily hooded.

"What'll it be Captain? I stand waiting for your orders." Emma raised a brow in challenge, shrugging out of her jacket, vest and shirt in one simple movement. Killian's eyes sparked, a blue fire lighting from within.

He pressed his leg between hers, his thigh giving her enough friction to draw out a whimper and a devilish smirk spread across his face. "These, Miss Swan, will have to be removed." His hand snaked down, palming her heated center earning him soft moan before he lazily began to tug at the laces. He stopped, deciding to give her orders after all.

"Take them off." He stepped back, fingers stroking his chin as he watched her shimmy the material down past her hips and to the floor.

He returned to his discarded coat and laid it out on the deck in front of her. He said he meant to have her naked in it one day, and he wasn't lying.

He nodded in a silent command for her to lie down and she obliged, her eyes never leaving his, her chest rising and falling with the building intake of her breath.

"That's a good girl." Killian lied down beside her trailing an idle finger from her breast bone down to her hips, going back and forth, enjoying the glare she was giving him at his teasing. When his hand finally reached down and hovered over the apex of her thighs she arched into his palm and he smirked.

"Is this what you want?" he purred into her ear. Killian let a finger trace over her entrance, feeling the wetness that awaited him. Relishing in the fact that he was the reason she was in this state, that she was more than ready for him.

He shifted his head and took a nipple into his mouth, tracing it with his tongue, sucking gently while she arched into him with a strangled cry. "Tell me, my dear, Emma." He finally let a finger sink inside her, his thumb pressing against that little bundle of nerves.

"Killian," she moaned, fingers tightening in his hair and cries escaping her lips between breaths.

He inserted another finger, pumping in and out of her in a strenuous rhythm.

"Yes, oh god, yes." She writhed yanking his head back up to her and he wasted no time diving into her kiss; their tongues matching the pace of his quickening fingers. Emma whimpered into his mouth, pulling away and shifting her head to his shoulder. "Killian," she breathed, fingers digging into his shoulders.

His thumb went back up and circled her small nub and her back arched and she stifled a cry by biting down on his shoulder, her walls clamping around his fingers and her body quaking.

"I'm not quite done with you, love," he murmured, softly pecking her lips before rolling on top of her. He entered her with one swift movement, his eyes slipping closed and his mouth open in a silent cry as he held his position and just breathed for a moment.

Emma's legs wrapped around his waist and she pushed herself up so she could wrap her arms around his neck, pressing kisses to his cheek. "I'd despair if you were," she breathed in his ear, and he lowered her back down and began to move.

His fingers tangled with hers as lips met and flesh slid against flesh, names whispered and moaned in one another's ears as they rocked back in forth in time with the ship. Killian's hand grasped her waist as he picked up speed and Emma matched him with her hips.

"Let go, Emma," he bent down and whispered huskily in her ear, beginning to feel the pull in his abdomen. His hand went between them and found her sensitive nub and gently began to circle it. "I want you to come with me."

She cried out and he felt her clench around him and he collapsed against her in his own glory, peppering kisses along her shoulder and up her neck until he found her mouth and claimed it in a slow sweet kiss.

* * *

"You, my darling Emma, are perfection personified," he said with a breath and rolled onto his side, taking her with him.

"You're not so bad yourself, Killian Jones." Emma turned to face him a mischievous glint in her eye. "I'm naked, Jones. Naked and in your coat."

"So I've noticed." He pecked her lips softly, "I told you it would happen eventually." He traced circles on her hipbone, smiling softly while he got lost in her eyes. "And you do make one hell of a pirate."

"I never said I wouldn't," she smirked, lacing her hands behind his head and pulling him down to meet her lips. "I wish things could be as simple as this." She sighed and he let his head fall on her shoulder.

"They will be, love, soon. I promise you."

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* * *

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**A/N: I'll have you know I don't write smut often and it wasn't planned...it just happened. Reviews would be lovely.**


	12. Chapter 12

It had seemed as if naught but an hour had passed, but Killian knew it had been far more than that. Despite the sun still hanging brightly in the sky, they had been along the shores of Neverland for at least half a day. The last hour of which was spent basking on the deck, wrapped around each other.

"Come, darling." He pressed a kiss to her shoulder, sitting up and wrapping his coat around her body. "We must set out before nightfall." Killian pulled on his trousers and held out a hand to help her to her feet.

"How long will it take us to get there?" she asked, casually tying the laces that rested at his hips.

"Hopefully not longer than a day and a half, two at most." He pulled his shirt over his head and began fumbling with the buttons, miscalculating twice before Emma intervened.

"Killian," she sighed, placing her hands over his, "What are you so worried about?"

Shame trickled into the blue hue of his eyes, turning his hands over and lacing their fingers together he traced her knuckles with his thumb. "Emma, this place…" he sighed, releasing her and allowed his head fall forward, hair flopping over his brow, "well, home always calls to you doesn't it. Which is why I couldn't stray very far from you." He set his hands on her shoulders and leveled his eyes with hers. "Stay close. Do. Not. Wander."

Emma smirked.

_Smirked? She actually bloody smirked at him._

"I take it it's another beanstalk situation?" Her tongue was trapped between her teeth as she evaluated him. "A bit more gruesome and all that…"

"Too right, but not always, she is quite beautiful but things have changed over the years." He replied with a curved eyebrow.

Emma scoffed, "Please don't tell me Pan ran off and grew up."

Killian froze at her words, teeth clenched, grateful that she was now too busy fixing the fasteners on his shirt to pay him any notice.

"That would be a shitty way to ruin a great story," she mumbled quietly to herself. She aligned the last one in its proper setting and laid her hand over the chains on his chest. "Now…" Emma stood on tiptoe and quickly pressed a chaste kiss to his still tightly pressed lips. "Let's go have us an adventure."

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* * *

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Emma couldn't hide the smile that was beaming on her face from the minute they landed on shore, despite the fact that they had now been hiking through the Neverwood for well over two hours. It was hot, and her feet ached but she had never seen such beauty in a simple forest.

Everything was obnoxiously bright in color, be it green or brown, it didn't matter. Large pink and orange flowers that would shrink up on approach and shyly bloom after it seemed as if they deemed you worthy of your trust. Emma reached out a finger to stroke a petal when her hand was quickly snatched away by Killian's and she was suddenly being held to his back.

"Look all you want, love, but touch not. Bloody things will dissolve a finger faster than you cry out the pain induced." He brought her hand to his lips and placed a kiss on her finger tip, "And while I'd love you just the same, I'd like to keep you in one piece, darling."

"Anything else you should warn me about?" she quipped, eying the colorful vegetation around her, "or would you rather wait until something bites me next time."

"It was hardly going to bite you, love, it doesn't even have teeth. Acid laced petals. Defense mechanism is all." Killian rolled his eyes.

"Oh is that all," she scoffed."

"All pretty things need to protect themselves from prying hands. Of that you know all too well."

"You talking from expierence, buddy?" She shot him a grin over her shoulder, side stepping a fallen log. She had missed their banter over the years; it felt all too good to tease him again.

"Ooh, Swan," he pursed his lips and clicked his tongue against his teeth. Killian raised both hands and wiggled his fingers aside his head, "These hands can do much more than pry." He took a quick step towards her, grabbing her middle. "I do believe I gave you an example this very afternoon," he whispered in her ear, scruff and breath alike tickling her neck.

She let out a high pitched laugh and wiggled out of his grasp. She stood in a challenging stance before him, arching a brow.

"Care to catch me, Captain?"

Killian's head snapped to the left and he held up a hand in an attempt to still her, but she wasn't biting.

Emma took a step backward before turning and sprinting ahead.

"Emma, no. Stop!" Killian darted forward but she was smaller and more graceful than he and slipped through the trees with ease.

"Dammit, Swan!" he cursed, his coat snagging on a branch and he shed the damn thing all together to gain more ground. Killian reached a small round clearing, stopping to circle the area and listen for her footfalls. The bloody wood had already enchanted her and before long her mind would start to slip. He heard the sweet sound of her laughter and a sigh fell from his lips as he jogged off in the direction of the joyous sound. It was a short lived moment, however, broken by the shrill screech of her scream naught but a moment later.

"Shit," he hissed, dropping his satchel and picking up speed. "EMMA! SWAN, CAN YOU HEAR ME? I'll kill you myself if you're still alive," he murmured under his breath.

"KILLIAN!" her yell resonated around him.

"Oh, bless the gods!" he breathed in relief and continued pushing through the trees.

Out of breath and a little scratched up, he made it to the next clearing, hands on his knees to catch his breath when he heard her voice from above him.

"Took you long enough."

Killian slowly raised his head, and shameful as he felt for doing it he couldn't help but snicker at the sight hanging in the tree above him.

Arms and legs askew, sticking through the holes in a makeshift net and not looking too comfortable, sat (or swung) his dear Emma. And she was rightly upset.

"Oh, love," he chuckled, "I did tell you not to wander."

"Are you done? Because I'd like very much to get down now," she scowled and even from her height he could see the stormy grey of her eyes.

"Oh, I'd love too, but without help, I'd do much more damage than good."

"Help?" She cocked an eyebrow.

"Help," he confirmed with a nod. "They'll be along shortly, I'm sure they've noticed they caught a beastie in their net."

"Who, Jones?" she prodded with a bitter tone.

"Those insufferable bloody lost boys," he grumbled a smirk creeping its way onto his face at the immediate creaking of wood along the edge of the forest.

"Oh, yes, lost boys, right," Emma sneered from her netting. "Wait a second…Killian—"

"Shh, shh, shh," he hushed her, raising a finger and circling the clearing, hand on the hilt of his sword. But the boy was dreadfully quiet, well trained and well adapted over all the centuries of living with the land. Killian heard the draw of the bow before he saw it, a ruffle of dark hair under an animal skin hat and haunted eyes despite their youth.

"Who you callin' insufferable, _old man_?" The boy stepped out into view, aim holding steady and not an ounce of fear showing in his small bones. Killian eased his hand away from the hilt and held up both palms in a gentle surrender. "Come now, lad, we wouldn't want to do anything foolish."

With his bow still raised he circled the pirate eying him from head to toe before he gave a quick glance to Emma who was now gawking with wide eyes from the net.

"Bloody, hell, Slightly, drop it already. We both know my hand is much quicker than your bow if need be. Or has your mind finally failed you," Killian mocked, his smirk growing and his eyebrows tossing the boy a playful bounce.

The boy paused his movements, cocking his head in confusion before he took a closer step towards Killian, finally lowering his bow to get a better look at him. He straightened himself up tall, straining to peer into his clear blue eyes with his dark brown ones; searching.

"Killy?" he whispered and Killian's smirk tuned into a full grin. Slightly stumbled back, tossing down his bow, a strange pull of happiness and pain mixed onto his face.

"Killy?" Emma taunted from above.

"Not now, Swan," Killian warned and dropped to a knee. "Where are the boys, lad?" he coaxed gently.

"At the house, I was walking when I heard the net go off. You left. Things got bad when you left," the boy said glumly shuffling the leaves at his feet.

"If I recall things weren't exactly grand before I left. Now, I would appreciate it very much if you would help me get this lovely creature out of your net."

Slightly looked up and all the sadness was wiped from his face and was replaced with pure joy. He scurried up an adjacent tree and was quick to pull out a knife from his belt and snap the rope. Killian hardly had time to get beneath Emma, but he managed to catch her, sending them both to the ground with an audiable _oomph. _ He gingerly began to peel the netting away from her while she stayed in his lap, her eyes on the boy that was now watching her with the same look Henry gave her when he showed up on her door step when he was ten.

_Shit_, she knew that look, and no matter what the real story behind this place was she knew it well enough to know what was coming next. "Killian…" she whispered, following the boy he had called Slightly with her eyes.

"You brought us a mother!" the boy exclaimed. "That's why you came back, to bring us a mother!" He was beaming as he took hold Emma's hands and pulled her to her feet. "The lads will be so happy."

Emma's face fell into a frown and she reached out to let her fingers trace the small angles of his chin. She hadn't the heart to turn him down, not here, not now. And judging by the way he was wielding that bow she didn't think it a good idea.

Killian stood, plucking a few stray leaves from Emma's hair before his hand settled on her lower back and he held her in place at his side, pressing a kiss to her temple.

"Remember why you're here, Em," he murmured into her hairline, "You mustn't get attached. You have Henry to get back to."

And there in lied the problem. She had grown up without a mother and father, Henry, while he had Regina, was forced to be without Emma for so long, and this poor boy, along with others had been here for who knows how long without anyone.

"Is she your wife, Killy?" Slightly inquired with a sly smile. "I wouldn't blame you for leaving if she the reason."

Killian cast a nervous glance to Emma and she simply raised her eyebrows to him. Killian Jones was a pirate. Not exactly the marrying type.

"Oh! If she is our mother than you simply must be our father!" the boy continued.

"Listen, lad—" he stopped when Emma sharply elbowed him in the ribs shook her head once, signaling him to leave it be. "—how's about we get some rest and talk in the morning, yeah?"

Slightly gave an enthusiastic nod and gathered up his bow.

"Why don't you lead the way, mate, it's been a while."

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* * *

They made their way back through the trees and Killian held Emma back for a moment to allow the boy a small head start. "Don't lead them on, Emma, it'll only make things worse," he warned.

Her arm casually slipped in the crook of his elbow. "I'm sorry, the twelve year old with the bow was a little convincing," she quipped. She slowed to sweep down and scoop up his satchel, slipping it around her shoulder. "You lost your coat." Her voice was quiet; reserved.

"You ran off."

"I'm sorry." She froze, her arm falling dead from his hold after a few steps. He turned to see her standing in the middle of the wood with her head cast to the forest floor.

"Emma—" He went to her, tucking his fingers under her chin, "love, look at me."

She allowed him to lift her face to meet his gaze and he tucked a tendril of hair behind her ear, his hand sweeping behind her neck and he brought his forehead to hers. "Do. Not. Wander. You were lucky it was nothing but a little lost boy trickery. Stay close, and remember."

"Remember what?" she breathed, bringing her hands up to settle on his chest. Killian grabbed her head in his hands and dipped his head so that his eyes were level with hers. Her brow crinkled with confusion and fear flashed behind his irises.

"Emma?"

The corner of her mouth twitched into a crooked smile. "Have a little faith, Killian."

Killian sighed, eyes flooding with relief, "You'll be the death of me, Swan. I swear it."

They followed Slightly until they came to a large grouping of trees and Killian proceeded to knock on the trunk of each one until he was satisfied with his choice. He pulled along a crack in the bark until they were staring at the hallow inside.

"Alright, Swan, in you go, then," he nodded proudly, dusting his hands together.

"I'm sorry, what?" Emma approached the tree and tentatively looked inside, pulling back when it opened up to a seemingly endless hole. "Yeah, no."

Slightly scoffed, slipping into a tree of his own with ease. "Suit yourself, more room for us. I just hope you don't scare easily."

Killian cleared his throat loudly and shot the boy a glaring look. "We'll go together then, might be a tight fit," Killian winked, "but I'm sure you won't mind."

"Of course, I was going to suggest that anyway," Slightly laughed nervously.

Killian rolled his eyes and stepped into the trunk, and Emma's eyes went wide when he didn't fall through. There had been a hole there; she had seen it.

He held out a hand to Emma and nodded, motioning with his finger for her to join him. She took his hand and stepped closer to him, but remained on the outside.

"It's a tree, love, nothing more. Just step in and hold on to me."

She stepped inside and it felt as if her feet were standing on a cloud. She looked down, her eyes immediately snapping back up and her hands grasping his arms.

"Of all the things you've seen," he chuckled, wrapping his arm behind her shoulders and giving the tree a knock, signaling it to close. "Listen to me, Emma, I need you to take a breath and slowly exhale when I do. Understand?"

Emma nodded.

"Watch me. Feel me. We have to breathe together for this to work properly." He extended his hands and felt along the inside of the bark, his eyes slipping closed and a smile pulling at his lips.

Emma's eyebrows went up when he opened his eyes; they were positively glowing despite their darkened surroundings. In fact if she didn't know any better she would have said he was glowing.

"Here we go," he whispered, reaching down and taking her hands in his, breathing deeply and she did the same.

Killian gently squeezed her fingers and together they let began to let their breath out, smoothly moving their way down the trunk as if it were some sort of elevator. He felt her body tense, her fingers clenching in an iron grip around his. He looked down on her and gave her a reassuring smile. Bringing her fingers up to his lips he drew in another breath and they moved up slightly, but as soon as he signaled her to exhale they continued their descent.

Emma began to relax, her sea green eyes focused on the impossible blue hue before her as they moved as one deeper down into the ground. She brought their laced hands up to his chest and pressed her forehead to his. Her eyes fell closed and she trusted the subtle movements of his chest against hers to be enough of a tell to let her know when to alternate breaths.

Emma felt her feet touch bottom, the soft crunch of leaves beneath them welcoming them into a great living space.

"Now, darling, was that really so bad?" Killian's hushed voice asked, their foreheads still pressed together and although both their eyes were now closed they could tell the other was grinning.

"No, that was…" Emma pulled back, tucking her tongue into her cheek. "Killian…you…you were…"

Killian's eyebrow curved, "I was what, lass?"

Emma thought about the different ways to tell him that he shouldn't have been visible in the middle of a darkened tree trunk, yet he was; radiant and warm. Of course it could have been cracks in the wood; who knew how old the tree was and perhaps she had looked the same to him. Or maybe it was just this place playing tricks on her brain.

Emma shook her head, "Never mind."

"Well it's about bloody time!" Slightly's voice chirped and Emma found herself being immediately pulled into the center of the room and being sat on large red mushroom. She bounced on it a few times, surprised the fungi didn't topple under her and a flash of a smile flickered across her face.

"It's been a while," Killian smirked, "and a first for some."

Killian laced his fingers behind his back and stepped further into the room, a feeling of nostalgia washing over him as his eyes scanned the roots that were fashioned into newly formed doorways. The Nevertree still stood in the center of the room; proud. Its branches expanding out and down the surrounding halls.

"You've expanded," Killian said simply.

"More boys, called for more room," Slightly replied with a smidgen of sadness in his young voice." The boy then hopped up on a nearby table and placed his fingers between his lips and let out a shrill whistle. "Killy's home!" he cried out, hopping down and striding over to stand in front of the pirate.

"'Tis only a visit, you know," Killian informed him deftly.

"Aye, I've always known."

The halls grew louder with a stampede of footsteps and soon the room was filled with at least fifty boys, most of which lingered towards the back of the room; watching with curious eyes.

"Oi! That's not him, look at how old he is!" A boy with a mess of blonde curls accused, storming up to him with a scowl on his chubby face.

"I'm not am I?" Killian scoffed, taking a knee and leaning in close to the boy's ear. "Perhaps I should tell dear Tootles where you hid his marbles after all." Killian leaned back and winked and a grin broke out on the boy's face just before he launched himself at Killian, landing him on his backside.

"Oh! It is you, it is you!"

Killian patted his back and gave his hair a ruffle. "Aye, it would appear so."

The rest of the crew rushed forward and collapsed on top of him, tugging at his hair and scratching at his stubble. Nibs as lean and energetic as ever, a foolish grin glued to his face. The twins; still the smallest of the group, and seemingly joined at the hip. Tootles was the last to jump in, as cautious as ever.

"And look, lads, he has brought us a mother!" Nibs jumped up excitedly and ran over to where Emma was sitting, watching with awe as her Captain effortlessly transformed into a playful boy; rolling around amongst the leaves with the others.

"A mother?" Tootles shyly peeked around Killian's shoulder. "Did you really, Killy? It's been far too long since we've had a mother."

Killian patted him on the back, a slanted smile on his lips as he went and stood behind Emma, placing his hands on her shoulders with a sigh.

"I wish it were so, lads, but Emma here has her own son to get back to."

"But you'll stay for a little while right," Nibs had come and grabbed her hands, kneeling at her feet and peering up at her through bright green eyes. "Please say you'll stay, if only for a little while."

Emma's voice caught in her throat when she went to answer him. What exactly could she say? She couldn't stay; they didn't have the time to stay. But then those lost eyes found hers and she knew exactly what Killian had been talking about up on that beanstalk. And her heart broke for them.

She pushed a sandy tuft of hair from his eyes and brushed some dirt from the pelt he had fashioned as a shirt. "I don't know how long I'll be here. You see, we came in search of something."

"Like treasure!?" Curly's interest was now piqued and he ran over and took a seat in front of her.

"Or my marbles," Tootles mumbled under his breath, kicking at the leaves under his feet.

"We can help you find it," Nibs cut in, brushing off Tootles remark. "Just like the old days, right, Killy? We'll make an adventure out of it."

"Oh, it's been so long since we've been on adventure," the twins sighed in unison.

"I think this is one adventure you best sit out on." Killian came around and ruffled the twin's hair.

"Well what is it then?" Tootles asked. "Pirate gold, a mermaid's pearl…" he paused his eyes traveling between Emma and Killian as if he was searching them for the answer. His eyes wandered back to Emma and his brow extended into his hair line. "Oh! Oh! Are you going to fix it?"

"No."

"Fix what?" Emma's face scrunched in confusion.

"Fix—"

"NO!" Killian roared causing all the boys to go rigid and swallow any words that might have been in their mouths. "That. Can't be fixed."

"But…she's a lady," Curly spoke in a reserved voice after taking a shaky breath. "Surly she knows how."

Killian shot the boy a warning glare, his jaw clenched tight to keep from uttering any hurtful words to the lad.

"He's right," Slightly voiced, approaching Killian with what looked strikingly like disappointment in his eyes. "Some things should remain forever broken." He went back to Emma and extended a hand to help her to her feet with a soft smile resting on his lips. "Stay as long as you like, there's plenty of room," he said with a slight jerk of the head towards the arch way behind him.

"Thank you."

Slightly turned to back to the boys, clapping his hands in front of him. "Right, let's show the old man we haven't forgotten how to have fun, yeah?"

They let out a collective _whoop_, the ones that had been huddling in the back of the room now came forward and began pulling tables, chairs and benches out of nowhere. Makeshift bowls formed from gourds and pilfered platters quickly made their way into place and Emma soon found herself and Killian being pushed onto a bench.

"_You…_have some explaining to do," she glowered at him from under her lashes, giving him a light elbow to the ribs.

"I know," came his grim reply, not even bothering to make eye contact with her.

"So, what did they want me to fix? Maybe we can kill two birds with one stone." she prodded, watching as the dishes in front of her began to fill with food from seemingly out of nowhere, overflowing onto the tabletop.

Killian said nothing, his hands clenching into fists beside his head which now sat on the table.

"Killian…" she tried again, running a hand down the back of his vest, the velvet rippling under her skin.

His head snapped up and his eyes finally met hers, his once beautifully bright blue eyes now dark and stormy with the remnants of his old self. His breathing was heavy and his lips pressed into a tight line, his stare heavy on her; brooding. The boys continued to move around them, not noticing his snap in behavior.

"We are here for one reason and one reason only. Are we clear, Swan?"

"Killian—"

"Are. We. Clear?" He leaned in closer, his breath ghosting over her lips.

"Crystal," she said with unease, her lip tucking itself under her teeth.

"Good," Killian stressed, blinking slowly before he turned in his seat and began to pick at his food. "Eat, Emma. We set out in the at first light."

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**A/N: This was getting out of hand, so I had to cut it off. PM me if you find any mistakes, it's 4am and I is sleepy. As always Reviews would be lovely. Especially from you newcomers. I love hearing from you guys.**


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